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Free Advice on How to Talk to Women

Feb 27, 2008
When it comes to how to talk to women, if you are too afraid to express your opinion on things, women will lose a lot of emotional and psychological attraction for you.

In the book 'How to Win Friends and Influence People,' Dale Carnegie talks about making other people feel important by gearing conversations toward their interests and strengths.

While this is a favorable social skill to employ, don't confuse it with being agreeable and pretending to like everything that a person is interested in/talking about.

Women naturally feel more comfortable in the presence of a guy who is assertive, doesn't hesitate and doesn't seek approval for his thoughts or actions. For example:

Woman: I went to Paris last year for the first time. My best friend Jenny came with me...it was so scary being in a big city and not being able to speak the language.

There are a number of ways to respond to what she just said. Here are two examples that show you weren't listening:

- Oh, that's nice.
- Oh right, so did you have fun?

If you were listening, you would have noticed at least three main conversation threads to open. If you want to have good conversations when you talk to women, then you'll need to start paying attention to what women actually say. Allow me to explain...

1. It was her first time in Paris.

Statements you could make or ways you could talk from your perspective:

- Start daydreaming and say something like, "Hmmm, Paris" in a really reflective way. Look away for about two seconds as you imagine Paris and gather your feelings about it.

"When I think of Paris, I picture the old streets with beautiful architecture...the alluring aromas of freshly-ground coffee and warm croissants... high fashion... lifestyle... ahh, I have to go there one day. Tell me about your experience with Paris - did you ever walk the streets in the morning and just say wow, I'm in Paris!?"

- I would love to go to Paris! The idea of going there makes me think about mystery, romance (said in a serious, seductive tone)... and Eiffel Towers (said in a sarcastic, humorous way)!

Questionss you could ask:

- What drew you to Paris?
- How did it feel when you first walked the streets of Paris?
- What was the most exciting things about Paris for you?
- Is it true what they say about people in Paris being snobby and rude?

2. She was traveling with her best friend.

Statements you could make or ways you could talk from your perspective:

- Traveling with a best friend... definitely a cool way to do it. I prefer traveling with someone as well because you get to share the experiences.

I have friends who've traveled by themselves before, they said they loved the strange feelings they got...saying it was like being a star in their own movie or something.

- Awesome...traveling is so much cooler when you have a close friend with you.

- I like traveling with someone, but once I went to Spain by myself for two weeks, it was so cool. Like you in Paris, I totally didn't know the language! Can you speak French now?

Questions you could ask:

- Did you guys travel anywhere else?
- Did you stick together for the whole trip, or did you have a huge fight over a hairdryer or something?
- How long have you guys been best friends?
- Is your best friend here tonight?
- Why do you call her your 'best friend'? What makes her the best?

3. She didn't know the language.

Statements you could make or ways you could talk from your perspective:

- Awesome - say something in French for me!
- "Bonjour Mademoiselle, je mappelle _____ (insert your name)." This translates into to "Good day Miss, my name is ________."

Questions you could ask:

- Can you speak any French these days?
- What's the weirdest thing you can say in French?
- Do many people speak English there?

Use these techniques to improve your conversations with women and remember: A big part of understanding how to talk to women is listening. It's easy to do, but most guys just overlook it.
About the Author
Dan Bacon is the CEO of TheModernMan.com who provide dating advice for men.

Dating Advice For a Man How to Meet Women, Meet Women
How to Talk to Women, Free Advice
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