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Tips on Confidence With Women

Feb 27, 2008
There are many ways to have more confidence with women and today I'm going to share a few techniques and concepts with you.

First, I'll tell you a quick story. I have a friend who is what you might call a 'natural alpha male'.

One of the interesting things about him is that he doesn't always react when people try to engage him in conversation. Why?

Usually it's when people ask him silly questions, or attempt to engage him into conversation to be polite or fill a silence. He chooses if he is going to react, participate or respond to an attempt to engage his reality.

I asked him about this and he said, "Man, I don't have to respond to everything people ask me. It's their problem if I don't answer, not mine."

Sometimes he'll pause for a few seconds and you'll think, "He's going to answer," but then he'll open a new topic of conversation or do something else without answering your question and just expect you to follow along.

Reluctantly, most people do. Why? Because his version of reality is stronger than that of most people he comes into contact with.

This type of confidence is very attractive to women and to have it, you need to learn to 'live in your own reality' and choose how and when you react to what is going on around you.

Choose what direction you want things to go. If people are being stupid, decide if you'd prefer to acknowledge it or teach them a lesson by ignoring it or changing the direction of the interaction.

How does this relate to confidence with women? Women (especially attractive women) are used to having men be very accommodating, answer all their questions and comply with a multitude of requests in the hope of getting some action.

Many women have told me that they like it when a guy:

a) Doesn't let them get away with throwing silly tantrums: Either laugh at her, playfully tell her to stop being a little brat or you'll spank her, or just leave/hang up when she's throwing a tantrum.

b) Decides where to go when on a date: Take the lead - it's the masculine thing to do and it allows her to be the woman.

c) Let's them decide on the movie or restaurant when they've been good: You can come up with all sorts of things to reward a woman's behavior. She made you a good cup of coffee, she gave you a 5-minute massage, she bought you a drink in a bar, etc.

By choosing not to react badly to the tantrums of women, you demonstrate confidence, strength, and communicate that such behavior is unworthy of your attention.

Women find that very attractive. However, be warned: If you begin to display this level of confidence with women, rest assured that your version of reality will be challenged by those around you everyday in all sorts of ways.

Example: You're talking to a group of girls, having a great time and one of them taunts you by saying, "You guys are players!"

Right at that moment, you have a few choices. You can either:

1. React to her reality and get drawn in by explaining yourself and asking why she thinks that. Or by getting upset about it.
2. Playfully reverse it onto her "I'm glad you like it", or "So...what is it about players that you like so much?"
3. Turn her friends against her in a playful way by saying something like, "Feisty...is she always like this? How do you guys hang around her?"
4. Pause, look her in the eye and give her an endearing smile. Then continue on saying or doing what you were doing.

Most importantly, never react to a woman's taunts by becoming offended, defensive or insecure. Just because she calls you a player, it doesn't mean that she doesn't like players.

In fact, it's often the opposite. A woman may make such comments as a defensive response because she is feeling attracted to you more quickly than normal.

It doesn't mean that you are a player. It just means that she sees you as a guy who can attract women really easily, and who knows the 'real deal' between men and women.

So, don't go getting nervous and feeling like you've blown it. Take it as a compliment that she likes you and continue on with the interaction.

Women want you to be confident around them. Just make sure that if you're flirting in a teasing way, that you're not going too far. The objective is not to demean or insult women, it is to be flirtatiously playful and confident - both of which attract women to men like bees to pollen.
About the Author
Dan Bacon is the CEO of TheModernMan.com who provide dating advice for men.

Confidence With Women How to Get Girls
How to Be a Player
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