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Modern Dating Advice For Men

Feb 27, 2008
As you may know, there is an old saying, "You never get a second chance to make a first impression."

The reality is that people create an opinion of you within seconds of meeting you, which then often determines their interest in getting to know you or seeing you again.

First impressions can last a long time, and it can take a lot of effort to change a person's opinion of you. So, here are a few tips to help you make a positive first impression when meeting people:

Verbal introduction: Instead of saying, "Hi, how are you?" in a quiet, normal tone of voice, try saying, "Hi, I'm _______ (name)" and say it with distinction!

Demonstrate that you are proud of who you are and expect that people will want to know your name and get to know you.

Don't be too animated, but inject just enough to break a person out of their auto-pilot response for meeting someone.

Names: Practice remembering the names of people you meet. Using a person's name a couple of times within the first few minutes of meeting them is a great way to help you remember their name.

Although you should only say a person's name 3 or 4 times during a 20-minute interaction, it's important to note that people simply never get sick of hearing their own name. We are, after all, more interested in ourselves than anyone else on this planet.

Handshake: If you need to shake hands with a woman, don't shake hands in the same way you would with a man.

Bring your hand forward in a horizontal direction and tilt your hand up a little, so it is tilting downwards about 10 degrees and don't squeeze her hand as hard as you would a man's.

You still need to give it a firm squeeze, however apply only 80% of the pressure you'd apply to a man's hand.

Alternatively, you might want to come up with a fun way to shake hands with a woman. It can be something as simple putting up your hand and getting her to 'high 5' you instead.

Play that 'high 5' scene out in your mind right now (e.g. in a bar, at work or in a social environment) and notice how much fun it will be.

You can also get her to give you 'the rock' (i.e. fist to fist). Notice the difference? You are not like every other guy. You make the rules. You're having fun with her and have assumed rapport.

Note: If you currently don't shake hands very firmly with men, you'd better start that as of now. Shaking a man's hand in a weak way is a sign on submissiveness and it immediately has an negative effect on the dynamic of your friendly relationship with him.

Assume High-Status: If you're at a dinner party, you should aim to take one of the seats that will be the 'centre of attention'.

Speak with confidence and assume that everyone there likes you, wants to get to know you and is interested in what you have to say. Without stepping on the host's toes, you might want to:

a) Suggest that something occur (e.g. open a bottle of wine, open some nibblies, etc).
b) Introduce people to newcomers.

Side note: Practice how to do proper introductions "Hi Joanne...this is Sally, she's good friends with John and Anne and works as a pharmacist in the city. Sally, this is Joanne...Joanne just got back from Italy last month, which would have been awesome."

c) Offer to help in the kitchen.

If a masculine man offers to help in the kitchen, women swoon. If a feminine man offers they will often secretly laugh at him and lose further attraction.

In situations like this, a good friend of mine named Stu will walk into the kitchen, look around and ask with a grin, "So, what can I help you burn?"

It communicates a lot of great things: Confidence, pretend self-deprecating humor and a willingness to help out despite his implied culinary inexperience. Women find it funny, generous and charming.
About the Author
Dan Bacon is the CEO of TheModernMan.com who provide dating advice for men.

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