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How to Be a Cool Guy

Feb 27, 2008
There's an obvious difference between a guy who is cool and one who is trying to be cool.

To teach you how to be cool, I'm going to make it easy for you by providing some examples of what a naturally 'cool guy' would typically do in social situations:

He Will Make You Earn His Friendship and Respect: A cool guy doesn't need social leeches or dorks hanging around him. He knows that lower-status guys want to befriend him so they will appear cool too.

Regardless of what you do or who you know in the group, he will decide whether or not he likes you.

He Will Be Direct, But Tactful: A cool guy usually won't be afraid to say something when others are too scared to, because he knows that people value his opinion.

He won't beat around the bush, but will be tactful because he isn't a pain in the butt.

If people are deciding what to do/where to go, the cool guy will let his choice be known whether it's in-line with the status quo or not.

He'll back his choice with conviction, but won't look around in hope of getting approval. He'll just assume that his choice is the best and people will usually sense that and follow.

Alternatively, he'll know that people will refer to him for the final decision anyway. So he'll just look and smile endearingly as people pretend to decide, while subtly glancing at him for approval each time they suggest something.

He Knows That he is Good: Cool guys always seem to have this subtle vibe about them that says, "I know that you like me. I know that you wish you were me."

If someone tells him about an amazing event that they went to on the weekend, the cool guy won't become jealous. He'll be happy that they had a good time and may even mention that it would've been cool to go as well, but he won't feel lesser because of it.

People will sense that and secretly wish that he'd come along with them too. If you tell him that his clothes are daggy, he'll tell you that you have horrible taste. You will secretly believe him.

He Doesn't Need to Qualify Himself to Gain Status: You won't ever hear a cool guy saying "Oh, if only I had my cool jacket with me. I left it at home and now I kind of feel out of place."

The cool guy is 'cool' because he is himself. He doesn't have to boast about his material possessions or the amount of girls who are interested in him.

He is Composed, But Alert: A good friend of mine named Ben has a distinct quality that makes him stand out from the crowd.

In a crowd of men darting their eyes around and showing subtle and obvious signs of nervousness, Ben is composed. But, he's also alert.

Women in the crowd notice and it's funny to see them continuing to steal glances at him, in just the same way as we men continue to steal glances at a woman's cleavage.

You too can convey the same qualities, by simply slowing down your movements in situations where others usually fidget or behave in a nervous manner.

What should I slow down? The pace at which you:

- Blink.
- Turn your head.
- Gesture.
- Speak.
- Move through a venue.
- Respond to questions.
- Think.

You should be composed enough not to be signaling any nervous tension, but alert enough to pounce or catch something at any moment.

A woman's primal self wants to sense that you can defend and protect her from the world, even if it's just a spider crawling up the wall.

For example: If there's ever a sound in the house late at night, a woman doesn't want to get the feeling that you'll be the type to quiver and say, "Honey... umm... do you want to check that out for us?"

So pay attention to the subtle clues you are sending out about yourself and be a man.

There's a lot more to 'being cool' than meets the eye. However, once you know the secrets you will immediately seperate yourself from all the other guys.
About the Author
Dan Bacon is the CEO of TheModernMan.com who provide dating advice for men.

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