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Suddenly Single - 5 Great Tips to Begin the Dating Game

Mar 1, 2008
Do you find yourself suddenly single and haunted by the prospect of having to face the dating scene once more? Not only may you be lacking in self esteem and self worth but the idea of even meeting someone let alone becoming intimate with another person has you reeling inside. Self doubt and questions will fill your thoughts - am I good enough, am I attractive enough, is my body too fat, what will I talk about, will I bore them? And the list could go on.

You will certainly feel out of place if you have been out of the dating game for any length of time, and you will find that new people and new situations will arise. The dating game may be considered uneasy at any stage in our lives, yet is often more difficult as we get older. Why is this so?

Firstly, the fact that we have spent so much time with one person has allowed us to settle into a comfort zone. This state, although perhaps not as comfortable as it sounds, has protected us in many ways due to familiarity, but the time has come to break down the walls and see what it is like on the outside.

Secondly, due to our maturity, we may behave more defensively rather than offensively. Divorce, relationship breakdowns or the loss of a partner have more than likely left us emotionally raw and protection of ourselves is now tantamount. We do not want to be placed in a position of more emotional duress or pain.

Admittedly the prospect of dating will prove scary, but more than likely has the benefit of excitement, and this excitement is necessary if we wish to have fulfillment in our lives. And what about love? We all want a just a little bit or preferably a whole lot of love in our lives, and if we are to find it, we must be prepared to take risks. Being aware that finding love will entail taking risks, becoming more adventurous and developing our confidence but knowing that there will be both good and bad times will enable us to find the courage to join the game again.

If we are to survive this so called game of dating, what must we do?

1. Decide what is important to you or what your priorities are. Is it friendship, companionship, romance, love or lust that you want? Do you simply want to meet new people, have a good time or are you looking for a relationship? Know what you want so that you send out the right signals. Your body language and attitude will go a long way in letting others know what you want, and how they will in turn respond toward you.

2. Be open-minded. You have forgotten what it is like to be in love and sadly crazy mistakes come easily in the name of love. Keep your feet on the ground and take care that you don't allow your heart to be broken too early in the game.

3. Understand that the first date is always the hardest. If he calls back, great, and if he doesn't then know it's okay. You don't want to be tied down to someone who may not be interested. You deserve so much more than that.

4. Don't tie yourself down to just one person. Play the field and take this time to explore and discover exactly you are looking for. This will enable you to be more selective and choose someone because you want to not because you need to have just anyone in your life.

5. Listen to your heart and also use common sense. Often the opinion of others do not serve you well, so take care not to allow anyone to tell you what you should do. Regardless of your age, whether you are in your thirties, forties or even your sixties and seventies, love is something everyone seeks, and know that you are worthy of discovering and nurturing that love.

When it comes to meeting someone new be open to the channels of love. Once you allow yourself to meet that special someone, you will find that your life will step up where it previously seemed to fall apart and you may have your happy ending after all. The only thing about happy endings is that they normally don't find you, you have to find them.

Perhaps the grass is greener on the other side. Stand tall, be confident and discover the courage to find out. You deserve it, after all.
About the Author
Danette Hibberd
Wellness Coach
NLP Practitioner
Author-Fabulous Beyond Forty Book Series
http://www.fabat40.com
Visit fabat40.com for free resources to assist you on your journey to discover how to find the goddess in you.
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