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Who Has the Dating Power - Men or Women?

Mar 2, 2008
If you ever find yourself dating the kind of woman who believes she has sexual power over men and she suddenly finds herself in the 'one down' position in the relationship, she will usually try in all sorts of ways to sneak but up to the one-up position.

Note: This means you are on the right track and she is enjoying herself. Don't stuff it up. Some examples of her trying to regain the one up position:

- Playing mind games (e.g. not returning your calls or messages for hours or days even though you know she has nothing else to do, or is the type to respond to messages straight away).
- Wearing flattering clothes and mentioning that other guys are checking her out.
- Acting unimpressed with the things that you do (i.e. trying to get you to do more to impress her).
- Creating situations where you rely on her (e.g. she's the designated driver for the night, but keeps you waiting by arriving late. You move in together and share rent, etc).
- Making you fall in love with her and then becoming a little distant so you chase her even more.

If you buckle under those sorts of tests, the woman will gain more and more of the 'silent dating power' and her attraction and interest in you may naturally diminish. Suddenly, you may find yourself behaving like she had been previously (i.e. trying to get yourself back to the 'one up' position).

You might find yourself trying harder to impress her, to spark certain feelings or to get her attention. However, you must hold your ground. At a deep level, she will appreciate it if you can keep her interested by not falling for her instinctive attempts to test your masculinity.

Better yet, don't even play with her tantrum. For example: A woman is throwing a little tantrum because you didn't call her the night before.

Her: (In an angry, paranoid tone) Why didn't you call me last night?
You: (Chuckling) Hehe...you're cute. Hey, I've gotta tell you something... I just made the best stir-fry ever...if you're nice I'll save you some.
Her: Cool, but hey... why didn't you call me?
You: C'mon, don't be silly. How was your day today? Tell me about something good that happened...

If you do find yourself in the one-down position in terms of the dating power, you may also find yourself wanting to give a woman more compliments. So, here's some tips on that topic.

A genuine compliment is something that we rarely forget. A compliment out of supplication is something we often ignore as meaningless, or even resent.

Man: Wow, you are so beautiful.
Woman: Thanks, you're so sweet.

That may look like a positive interaction to some of you, but in reality it equals nothing if the woman doesn't feel attraction for you, or if you're trying to suck up to her. You can compliment a woman on anything you like, but make sure that she is attracted to you first. Here are some great examples of how to compliment a woman:

You: Hey, I like your dress sense.
Her: (Says something).
You: Yeah, it's stylish (trendy/cool/funky or whatever else you want to say)....I like girls who dress like that...

You: Hey, you have nice teeth.
Her: (Says something).
You: I like nice teeth...

You: I think you're really sexy
Her: (Usually flattered and can't believe you had the balls to say it.)

Complimenting too early: Do the right thing by her and don't be another guy who comes along babbling out compliment after compliment, or demonstrates that he will offer no challenge.

The best time to give a woman a compliment: Feel free to reward good behavior with a compliment when a woman says something witty, does something nice for you, etc.

Despite what women may say, they generally prefer a man who will make them work for it. For example: You've been talking to a woman for a little while. She is being really friendly, flirty and responsive and says something funny. Start laughing quietly to yourself and have a private little moment.

Her: What?
You: I just noticed something about you.
Her: What?
You: You're actually quite funny (or cute, or whatever you want to say about her). I like that.

But remember that you can't get too predictable with women, or they'll lose interest. Sometimes, you should playfully tease a woman for doing nice things or saying something cool. Sometimes you should compliment her.
About the Author
Dan Bacon is the CEO of TheModernMan.com who provide dating advice for men.

Dating Power Click here for more info
A great dating ebook to download
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