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Why Is Divorce So Common?

Mar 10, 2008
A book could be written to describe all the reasons why married couples get divorced. I want to highlight a few of the major components behind marital divorce. It is important not to be tricked into thinking that couples just wake up one day and decide to divorce each other.

Most often, divorce is just the icing on a cake that has been in the oven for months, or even years. The following are a few ingredients in that cake:

Lack of Communication and Disclosure

You never hear a recently divorced person say that the reason they got a divorce was because their spouse was an excellent communicator who was too trustworthy. Often, a marriage that is largely healthy can spiral into a divorce simply because each participant refuses to acknowledge minor flaws.

The majority of marriages begin as a wonderful, romantic, almost fairy-tale interaction between two people. That is what is known as the "honeymoon phase". This phase doesn't last forever. In a marriage, it is important that each partner is mature enough to acknowledge that, eventually, you're going to get annoyed or frustrated with the other person.

By doing so, when the honeymoon phase does end, and the normal day-to-day problems of marriage begin to rear their ugly head, they won't come as such a surprise. Couples who are honest about the reality of life and relationships are much less likely to get a divorce. Life is not like the latest chick-flick starring Hugh Grant. Be sure your partner is aware of this.

Significant Changes in Body Weight or Appearance

Needless to say, physical attraction is a very significant part of an intimate relationship. The reason most married couples ever got together in the first place was likely because they were physically attracted to one another. After several years of marriage, it's not uncommon for one (or both) partners to stop taking care of their body like they did when they were single. Infidelity is one of the leading causes of divorce. It goes without being said that one major contributor to infidelity is a spouse who no longer seems physically attractive.


The decision to create a child is arguably the most important choice many couples make. It would be easy to fall into a trap of thinking that children are wonderful and perfect and "a gift from God", but the reality is that children place a significant burden, in a multitude of ways, on marriage.

All too often, after the honeymoon phase of marriage ends, couples attempt to rekindle this passion by creating children. Ironically, it can often have the opposite effect. Since children require so much time and money to raise properly, married couples will soon discover that they hardly have any time to themselves.

One spouse may be working longer hours to foot the additional expenses of a child while the other is investing several hours of their day to ensure the child's upbringing. Before you know it, years go by and the couple realizes they've hardly spent anytime maintaining their marriage.


It sounds simple, but there are some people in this world who are just not meant for the institution of marriage. These people were often called "free spirits" or "adventurers" throughout their lives. Often, they are able to flip a switch and exist in a marital relationship without a problem.

However, if one spouse in a relationship was "trapped" into the marriage, don't expect them to stick around forever. Sometimes people simply get bored and decide to make a change. Before marrying, it is important to identify these traits in a potential spouse. It could save the emotional and financial headache of divorce years down the road.

Personality Shift

An ideal marriage involves two people fully secure in who they are who have reached a point in their lives where they simply wish to share themselves with another person. The majority of marriages do not meet these standards. Instead, people marry too young before they've had a chance to explore life on their own and reach some conclusions for themselves.

Eventually, people will gravitate toward their mind's calling of who they really are. It is inevitable. It is the purpose we have for being alive. When two people marry each other before one (or both) have had the chance to become entirely confident in who they are as a person, there will be troubles down the road.

One spouse will notice the other asking for more space and attempting to spend more time by themselves. This is a reaction, a flight response, that is our mind's way of separating itself from outside influences so it can just "be itself". Many-a-marriage have resulted in divorce following a significant change in values and personality from one participant.
About the Author
The author has written articles on how to catch a cheating wife
as well as how to get a divorce.
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