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Playing A Man Like A Fiddle

Mar 13, 2008
Anyone who says that it's difficult to get a man to fall for you has not learned a few tricks of the trade. You have at your disposal a number of crafty methods to build intimacy with a guy even on the first date that are so clever he will never know you are worming your way into his heart until it is too late and you have moved in there and taken over. But these methods are not cheating or using mind control on them that would be frightening if you became that kind of girl. These methods are simple techniques of human communication that can help you in every aspect of life.

Women are up to ten times more receptive to body language than men, which is why some women become exasperated that the guy cannot take notice of her 'obvious' signals. But with some practice you can learn to use the kind of subtle signals that they do notice which can create a strong bond between you and get him to act just the way you want him to.

The best way to learn body language is to observe others, you can see when people are receptive to each other as their body language is open. They have their arms open, their palms out, they make gestures as they talk. Someone who is closed off will have their head tilted down, have their legs pointing away from the person and have their arms crossed etc. When just the movement of your hands or eyes can turn a date around it is important that you pay close attention to the signals you are sending so you don't appear bored or hostile by mistake!

To give the message that he has your full attention and that you find him interesting then use a slight smile and lean forward towards him and he will hear that message loud and clear. Also pay attention to your hands, are they at your side or on the table as if reaching towards him? If you do that then you are signalling that he can come to you for friendship and love. If you then turn your palms upwards it shows openness as well.

As the evening progresses, never miss the chance to engage in incidental contact. Little touches between you and your date establish an intimacy between you that is subtle but quickly lowers barriers between you and him. You can touch his hand lightly when you laugh, lean into him when talking like you are sharing secrets or even whisper in his ear. That whisper is one of the most powerful gestures of intimacy there is before you actually enter into a romantic relationship with a guy and it is something very hard for a man to resist.

You can also try something a little trickier, matching your body language to his. When we are in agreement with somebody, or we like or respect them, then we will subconsciously adjust out body language to match theirs. This makes the other person subconsciously feel more at ease and feel a connection with you. Make sure you do this subtly though so it doesn't look like you are copying him, wait for a while after he moves until you move into that position also, and don't copy everything, if he crosses his arms it could be a sign you said something wrong and if you cross your arms as well he will think you are closing up to him and then the date may go sour!

Echoing is using the same method in how you speak. Listen to his expression, his accent and the way he constructs his sentences. Then over the course of the evening, in tiny ways, start to use his speech patterns when you speak to him. If you are using his catch phrases, his style of speaking and even a soft version of his accent, that creates a virtual "family" feel in your friendship that opens the door for romance naturally and subconsciously.

These tips are proven ways to get a guy to open up to you so you can see the true man underneath all those nerves and barriers. These are valuable skills to have at any stage of the relationship so you can get your guy to open up about what is bothering him, or read his body language when other women are around!
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