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Men And Commitment

Mar 13, 2008
If there is one thing that men fear, much like his fear of castigation, that boggles the minds of both men and women alive, that would be man's fear of commitments. A typical scenario would be the something perhaps nine out of every ten women have gone through. Girl meets boy, girl likes boy and vice-versa. They go out on dates, boy takes her to the dance, they stare at each other starry-eyed, and girl comes clean by saying "I love you." Boy doesn't know what to do, boy stays away, they never see each other again.

Pretty scary story, huh? Some women have seen it happen time and again that it doesn't scare them anymore.

Men, or at least the emotionally unavailable ones, are afraid of commitment. These men view commitments as something they only do when they "really like" a woman. So they're afraid to take the next step, to level up, or to open the next box. Thing is, relationships become tough for women because men are usually satisfied with steady, non-committal relationships, and they almost never show it.

So when women try to say and explain her feelings to the guy, it only drives him away. They aren't comfy with the idea of taking another step further - maybe because they cant see anything in relevance or importance to them. The relationship slowly stagnates. The man doesn't take the step, and the woman doesn't do anything about it for fear of losing the "connection."

Time passes by, and they stop being sweet to each other. They become irritable to each other's actions. They start hating each other, they end up having petty fights. This happens in a course of months, and without noticing it, the people concerned just realizes that the relationship is already over.

As the woman's emotional tribulations grow worse, it's likely that she'll do things that'll only make the state of the relationship worse. This can happen in many ways - complaining about the relationship, showing her distaste in it, ranting about how he doesn't feel the same way - but all of these petty things still add up to the big fights that end relationships. Even if she thinks she has all the right in the world to get angry and throw emotions all over the place, men don't see this as legit. In fact, they think it's hysterical.

Unfair? Hardly - the fact that it happens all the time suggests that your case isn't isolated - it happens to nearly everyone. It's simply how the man's mind works.

The solution isn't easy, but nothing of great achievement comes easily anyway. The woman needs to be understanding, caring, and very patient. She needs to also know how he feels. It doesn't mean spoiling the guy - don't give him everything he wants. If a man gets everything he wants from the woman, think of just how long the relationship is going to last? Not very.

Women are extremely sensitive and intuitive creatures, a complete opposite to the insensitive and muscular man. If a woman knows how to use her so-called "strengths" it wouldn't be that hard to find out how men tick, or what he wants, or how to deal with them when they're angry or just not in the mood. If a woman succeeds in all these aspects, the "I love you's" will come naturally.
About the Author
Aaron Adams specializes in relationship matters for women. Find out the truth why a man commits or withdraw. Visit http://www.datingquestionsforwomen.com for more relationship advice.
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