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The IRS Can Take A Joke, Right?

Mar 14, 2008
If you can't laugh at yourself, you really are in trouble. Well, does the same thing apply to the IRS? Although not known for its sense of humor, there are no reports of the agency auditing the following people for saying these humorous things.

We'll try to cooperate fully with the IRS, because, as citizens, we feel a strong patriotic duty not to go to jail. - Dave Barry

Maybe we ought to see that every person who gets a tax return receives a copy of the Communist Manifesto with it so he can see what's happening to him. - T. Coleman Andrews, Former Commissioner of IRS

The Original Sin which brought us to the brink of bankruptcy and dictatorship was the Federal Income Tax Amendment and its illegitimate child, Federal Aid. - Tom Anderson

Earlier today, the White House released President Bush's tax return. Not surprisingly, under dependents, the president listed Iraq. - Conan O'Brien

When all is lost, ask the I.R.S. -- they'll find something. - Doug Horton

Under the Freedom of Information Act, a man with a small business sent a request to the IRS asking if they had a file on him. The IRS wrote back, "There is now."

The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. - Arthur C. Clarke

Q: Why is a tax audit like a tornado? A: In the beginning there's a lot of screaming and in the end you lose your house.

Tax reform is taking the taxes off things that have been taxed in the past and putting taxes on things that haven't been taxed before. - Art Buchwald

When are we going to be allowed to list the government as a dependent?

When there's a single thief, it's robbery. When there are a thousand thieves, it's taxation. - Vanya Cohen

Where there is an income tax, the just man will pay more and the unjust less on the same amount of income. - Plato

Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is really quite as satisfying as an income tax refund. - F. J. Raymond

And to you taxpayers out there, let me say this: Make sure you file your tax return on time! And remember that, even though income taxes can be a "pain in the neck," the folks at the IRS are regular people just like you, except that they can destroy your life. - Dave Barry

The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax. - Albert Einstein
About the Author
Barry Waxler is a financial advisor with UFCAmerica.com.
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