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Is Dating A Two-timer Worth The Effort?

Mar 14, 2008
If you're reading this, chances are you've dated a man that you especially liked. He must be a man who seemed sensitive and nice. Perhaps everything was fine for a while - until eventually he drifted away. It must have hurt when later, you found out that he dated another woman in the same on-and-off manner he dates you.

You're probably dangling on the idea that with the good times spent together and special moments shared, the bond that you had was never lost. Deep within you, you know that you could somehow manage to reconnect with him. Only this time, you probably want to make sure that he'll be real interested in pursuing a deeper relationship with you - perhaps something more special than what you had.

Before you even think of a hundred piecemeal strategies to win him or make him come back to you, here's a few words of advice.

You can call it mutual attraction, chemistry, or love. But in whatever names you call it, it doesn't mean the same thing as the word commitment. Is he ready to be emotionally involved? Or perhaps, what you believe to be real feelings between the two of you are actually false assumptions. Don't be surprised when you soon realize that what you thought you had with him was in fact, illusory.

If you haven't grasped his glaring signals of disinterest and cold shoulders, just ask yourself: is he ready to get into a serious relationship with anyone? And don't you just wonder, if your relationship meant anything to him, why date another woman? Dating another woman is a clear signal that he isn't really ready to get serious with you or perhaps with anyone at the moment. It might take a while for him to involve much of himself, his time and effort with you.

It's important for women to realize that there are men who find it difficult, if not at all impossible, to make a serious commitment. Some men simply relish their freedom too much. The irony of it is that they fully understand the psyche of women - that in no way women would stay in an intimate relationship without a clear chance of producing commitment. What happens is that men - as clever as might be - dangle before their women, hopes and expectations, just to lead them on a little longer. Not a few women fall into this trap.

Given this situation, how does a woman reverse her fate? Simple. Instead of sulking and running for him in desperation, just do the opposite.

One of the amazing ideas about love is that, love is a gift of oneself. Remember that before you could give and accept love, you must know who you are, what you want, what you need and what you could give in a relationship. While your man is busy with his own affairs, it's best to focus on loving yourself. Perhaps it's about time to do just that and you'll be ready when the right man comes.
About the Author
Aaron Adams specialises in relationship matters for women. Visit http://www.datingquestionsforwomen.com to find out how to avoid becoming just a fling to a man.
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