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Can the New Techies Manage and Maintain Their Vast, Extended Neural Networks?

Mar 17, 2008
You know who they are. They wear a tool belt for all their phones and gadgets. They look like a telephone line repairman. They waddle when they walk. They can speak but like all good children they only speak when spoken to. You might try texting them because it's quicker. Besides, they will tell you they just don't listen very well. They hear just fine, but don't listen. It's not what they do.

They have been called gadget addicts and worse. You know the argument, video games and virtual reality are the equivalent of drugs. However, drugs only affect the brain and do not actually become part of the neural network, unlike gadgets. Gadgets become part of the flow of the parsed bits and bytes and therefore become indispensable. Take out the gadget and the neural network crashes.

So with the New Techies, the gadgets have become part of the Extended Neural Network or ENN. Taking away these gadgets is like taking away whole sections of the ENN. It's like surgically removing a chunk of brain; well, sort of.

As a consequence anything and everything that is connected with this gadget simply disappears when the gadget disappears. This can cause a problem since all data of significance run through this device's chips. This data includes such non-essentials as family, school and other community and personal experiences not including friends.

Adults who don't care about how they look often wear a dumbing down earphone headset and can be seen in public gesturing and talking to themselves. The question is, does this make them feel important or just look more stupid? It sure hurts any chances for finding a date; who wants their conversation played out to everyone in the fruit and veggie section at the local Trader Joe's? Is this the type of behavior young people should emulate? Is this the type of behavior one should be exposed to while shopping for basil and artichokes?

Needless to say this New Techie withdrawal from the human race and real time relationships means that the New Techies will become even goofier than their nerdy and goofy predecessors. Staring at a terminal too long used to cause goofiness and now this syndrome has simply coded seamlessly over to cell phones and handhelds of all shapes and colors. How about a little pink one in the shape of a heart for someone you really despise?

It's easier so subsequently there is little reason for the New Techie to become interested in things like hiking, surfing, football or even dancing. Dancing is especially worrisome as it sometimes creates relationships and relationships are clearly problematic for the permanently sanitized and wired.

As the Greeks said, beware excess. Unfortunately chronic usage of add on devices results in the New Techies' mental circuitry becoming fried. Offshore research has shown the neurons en masse begin to fray and melt into a sort of soft goo paste. This goo or anti-brain matter causes dysfunctional withdrawal from the real world into the safer and less threatening virtual world where nobody gets punched, insulted or called nasty ethnic names. After all, like the Super Bowl, World Cup and Presidential Election, at the end of the day it's still just a game.

We certainly make it harder on ourselves since we humans are messy creatures creating a lot of fuss and bother and then leaving a bunch of garbage. It's so much easier just to wire directly into that Extended Neural Network ENN and not have to deal with all the other parts of human bodies that are quite frankly embarrassing to most New Techies. Part of the advantage of being wired is avoidance of physical contact. No icky germs...

But the question remains of just how is elevated art and culture to be transplanted from the worldly wise into a pea sized cerebrum that is constantly bombarded by low-end, sleaze ball digital stimuli? The short answer is it isn't because it can't. The wired brain is not free and inquiring; the wired brain is bored, boring and stuffed with spam. Mostly spam. All irrelevant input and no relevant output. That and gooey anti-brain matter.

But in the net net, it doesn't matter. The inconvenient truth is we are what we think. Or put another way a bit more pessimistically, we are only what little we think. Does it matter that we plug and play into the only conscious freethinking organ we have? How many independently generated new ideas did your liver and kidneys come up with this week? But in the end, if you really think about it long and hard, who really needs those smelly, ugly old frontal lobes anyway?

BTW, did you get my text message about your text message?
About the Author
Jack Deal is the owner of Deal Business Consulting and a technology advocate. Related articles may be found at http://www.jddeal.com/blog/business and http://www.freeandinquiringmind.typepad.com
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