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The Mine Field Of Sexual Relationships

Mar 17, 2008
Sexual relationships are a mightily complicated affair, so to speak. It's easy for adults to blame the sexual behaviour of young people on the 'teenage hormone surge'. However, people of all ages are prone to being governed by their hormones. Like I said, it's a complicated affair.

From the typical secretary/boss type affair in the local insurance office to the more high profile 'I did not have sex with that woman' type fling, sexual relationships are what drive many of us to do some strange and bizarre things and I'm not just talking about bedroom antics.

Long established, apparently stable families have seen destruction and chaos due to the illicit affair of one member or another. But it is often important to look below the surface for what has gone wrong other than the affair itself.

Couples become complacent once they are sure of each other. They begin to take one another for granted, not showing their feelings very much because they are buried beneath an avalanche of daily drudge. This leads to resentments building up, silly things that were endearing about the partner to begin with build up to be major resentments. One of the last things to go between a couple is the sexual relationship.

And this is why marriage guidance counsellors make such an effort to find out what is going on beneath the surface that led to one partner looking elsewhere for attention. An extra marital sexual relationship will often be held up as 'love' but it very rarely is. The guilty party is desperate to feel wanted, loved and noticed.

This is when we confuse any attention with what we are looking for when it's often the fact that you're vulnerable and open to others either in the same position or with more lax morals. Thus begins a sexual relationship without the basis for a deep and meaningful future.

Leaving the extra marital stuff alone, the sexual relationship between any couple is vital. There are some couples who manage without for one reason or another but it really is a fundamental part of life.

The 'chemistry' that people claim to have between them is not something that you could explain in words or diagrams but is very important to how well you fit together sexually (emotionally not physically!)
Without that chemistry you will still have sex but there will always be something missing. And you can never define who that chemistry will be with.

Personally, I've always found tall, dark men to be sexually attractive but have found chemistry with the not so tall and the blonde. Being currently single I could find chemistry just about anywhere if I looked hard enough!

Blonde, dark, twenty somethings, fifty somethings - it makes no odds. Someone, somewhere, someday, will also feel that chemistry and then you have a real fight on your hands to control your urges and not embark on that sexual relationship. Oh, what the hell, go for it anyway!

Divorced in my mid-thirties it took a while for me to ever want a relationship of any sort ever again. However, you do get past this and to rejoin the dating game is fraught with difficulties. Not least, getting the children to understand that you need an adult relationship. However old these children may be, the thought that their mother ever had, let alone still wants, a sexual relationship is enough to put them off their tea!

At the end of the day, sexual relationships are a vital component to life. Ever since man discovered what their bits were for there have been complaints of too much and not enough. Even if you decide not to indulge, you and your partner need to be in agreement for the rest of your life to be fulfilling.
About the Author
Relationship expert Catherine Harvey looks at sexual relationships as part of a meaningful life. To find out more please visit http://www.stimulusforwomen.co.uk/
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