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Dating Relationship Tip: Don't Let Obama or Clinton Screw Up Your Dating Relationship

Mar 18, 2008
You consider it nothing less than a minor miracle that you are still in this particular dating relationship. Yes you both really like each other and on many topics the two of you are in agreement or at least capable of understanding the other person's point of view. At times you even get the crazy idea that there is no obstacle either of you cannot overcome on your way to building a deep long lasting relationship.

Tonight however was not one of those times. The evening started out pretty good but somewhere between the end of the movie and saying goodnight, you got into a doozy of an argument with your date. What is about commitment, relatives, friends or the quality of the movie? The answer is none of the above. It was all about politics. Again.

There has never been a time when politics was not a hot button issue. For whatever reason, it arouses the passion and fire in people like few subjects can. That zeal seems to have reached a new level of intensity with the world we live in today. Talk radio, cable news, blogging and political forums combined with an exciting race for the Presidency seem to have elevated politics to center stage almost twenty four hours a day.

And lets face it some people love it. Whether it's an exchange of ideas, staying informed or just the thrill of a good argument, many people (including you) gravitate to this subject without any hesitation.

Is it okay in a relationship? Sure. All you have to do is look no further than James Carville and Mary Matlin to see diametrically opposite political views living under one roof.

But no matter how the both of you feel about politics, constant arguing can get old especially when it seeps into additional areas of your relationship. Neither one of you is willing to give up your political convictions but do yourself a favor and set some ground rules.

1. The Agree to Disagree

In many cases it does not matter what you say or what evidence you present, the other person is not going to budge. That's fine except the fact that they are entitled to their opinion and move on. Sometimes people believe if they say it long enough the other person will see the error of their ways. Well guess what? They are probably thinking along the same lines. Agree to disagree and let it go.

2. Listen

One of the things about political discussion is people cannot wait to give their opinion without taking in fully what the other person is saying. Not listening can lead to greater misunderstanding and more unnecessary arguing. You may want to hurry up and give your judgment concerning the last point your date commented on but take a step back and keep your ears open. You may find what they said was not only correct but that you agree with them.

3. Respect

No matter the dynamics of the discussion you should convey to your date that you are not trying to belittle them in anyway. Disrespect will only cause them to harden their point of view. Thank them for trusting you enough to share their opinion on a subject that they feel passionate about. Let them know that political debate is only a small fraction of why you are in this relationship.

4. Humor

Let's be honest. There has never been and will never be a perfect politician. They are some of the most peculiar and flawed individuals that you will ever meet. Have some humor at their expense. That does not mean always making fun of the other person's political heroes; do not be afraid to laugh at the ones on you hold dear. As the great humorist Will Rogers said, "People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke." As you can see not much has changed since Rogers' time.

In a dating relationship, it maybe better to avoid politics altogether but neither one of you wants to. You both like it and feel very strongly. That is okay as long as you put some ground rules in place. Agree to disagree, listen, respect the other person and have a sense of humor about it. Many couples despite having radically different views on a subject continue to enjoy a strong healthy relationship. There is no reason why you cannot do the same when it comes to politics.
About the Author
Barack and Hillary would agree that politics is a passionate subject. If handled right it can definitely spice up a relationship. This requires among other things good communication and the willingness to give so you can get. Find out more at The Relationship Tip
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