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Taking Relationships Further

Mar 29, 2008
Before you started dating him, did you feel a certain spark between the two of you? I'm sure you have - it's what got you into the relationship. Now, are you still feeling the same spark, or has it died down to a flicker?

Relationships like this happen all the time - it starts out great, only to falter and fall apart as soon as issues and disagreements surface.

Relationships take a lot of time to effort to build. It's like a car - the more you work on it, the better it runs. So how do you keep your relationship running? Is there a secret guideline for true, long lasting love?

Yes - but for sure, it isn't about finding Mr Perfect.

The "spark" mentioned at the start of this article refers to the subconscious attraction that makes you connect with him. It sets off the "love feeling" and sets that connection on the road to a long, happy relationship. But you may have some issues that will get in the way of this connection and lead the relationship to fall apart fairly quickly, some of which are as follows.

Subconsciously, your mind might be dwelling too much on the pains you felt in previous relationships. You may not know it, but your experience can keep your relationship from moving forward. Here's the thing: you don't have to compare this new relationship with the previous one. Whatever happened in your last relationship may not happen in this one. Always be optimistic and start on something new - not something recycled.

Learn to love his good and bad side. The good side is okay to deal with, but the bad side will understandably be a little tricky. Be open to his interests, issues, and beliefs, and make it a point to discuss them openly. He'll love the attention, and it'll help him open up to you, as well.

Always see the brighter side of your relationship. Don't dwell too much on the mistakes he might make. This is not only frustrating and stressful - it is also futile. Learn to understand his ways with this relationship. It may not be pretty, but it simply shows that you are dealing with a REAL man, and not someone who pretends to be someone he's not. This way, you'll learn to love his imperfections.

Set limits - if you're the assertive type, you can tell him straight away what you want in a relationship. It's good to tell him earlier about the things you believe will make the relationship work. It takes practice not to come off as bossy or domineering, but done correctly, it'll give him the impression that you're a woman who knows what she wants - a very admirable trait. And whether he agrees or disagrees with you, you'll save yourself from a lot of stress.

And finally, practice the art of listening. Communication is the best way to keep everything fresh and interesting in a relationship. Talk to him about his interests, like work or his friends. Men are not very good with communicating, but you can help them get used to it.

Take the chance to know him better. Be more than just physical. Be in touch with his emotional side.
About the Author
Aaron Adams specializes in relationship matters for women. Visit http://www.datingquestionsforwomen.com to find out why men lose interest - and how to prevent it.
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