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Why Men Leave You For Less

Apr 4, 2008
You may have experienced being dumped by a man for someone else. Things like that happen, but what if he dumped you for some woman who was less of a catch than you were? Someone too ordinary or very quirky, maybe? You were probably wondering what on earth he was thinking. You were perfect for him!

There's a simple explanation for that. It has nothing to do with what you and your guy have for each other. It is what these women have that keeps them interested.

By this, I mean a deep, subconscious attraction. This keeps relationships together longer than the attributes you have.

How come men often go for women who are bossy or dull rather than those who are attractive and intellectually stimulating? It is all because of that deep attraction that keeps a relationship strong.

You could have acted a little bossy around him. You could have consistently told him how he should do things, how he should say things or what he should feel around you. You treated him like a puppy that needed to be potty trained. And when he started to stray from you, you started to bombard him with questions about why he's acting strangely over your relationship, or where the 'spark' that you two used to have had gone. And, finally, you got dumped.

Maybe you did the opposite. You played the perfect girlfriend. You supported him in his whims, you catered to his needs, and you spent time with him despite your own hectic schedule. In short, you could've been the perfect wife. But in spite of it all, he started to drift away and left you hanging. And for no plausible reason, he suddenly dumps you.

Here's the glitch: You can't tell them how you want to be LOVED. Like what I said prior to this, that gut feeling attraction is that quality that keeps your relationship going. And you need to work on certain things that make you more attractive to men.

First, don't try to change him into something that he's not. Women too often make a fuss over the things that men do. Men simply see it as hysterical, and no amount of begging, crying, or arguing can convince them otherwise.

Second, know that there are two kinds of attraction. The first type is physical attraction, which I'm sure every woman has used as a "weapon" in the dating game. The problem is that there might be too much emphasis on physical attraction that it overwhelms the other type - intellectual attraction. Intellectual attraction is quite a bit trickier to use. Sharing the same interests with him is a good start, and you don't necessarily need to be Einstein to be interesting. If these two types of attraction coexist (without overwhelming the other), you'll soon be heading into a good relationship.

Third, don't be clingy. Sad to say, being clingy is a big turn-off for men. Clingy, emotional women simply drive all that attraction away, forcing men to look for other women who aren't so "unstable."

Attraction is not hereditary, so it's not right to think that some women were born with it and some aren't. But it can be enhanced and developed, and this is the only difference between you and the woman he left you for. Follow the tips mentioned above to keep him from ever wanting to drift away.
About the Author
Aaron Adams specializes in relationship matters for women. Visit http://www.datingquestionsforwomen.com to find out why men withdraw - and what to do about it.
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