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Let Your Emotions Move Your Relationship Forward

Apr 4, 2008
Men are hardly as emotional as women. Although it is wired in all of us to feel emotion, men would much rather keep theirs under wraps, while women are obviously keen in pronouncing their emotions more obviously.

Good experiences in a relationship increase the chances of it lasting for a long time. But even good things have their drawbacks. Some women may develop this 'clinging' tendency or become very so overwhelmed by their feelings that they scare men away.

However, not all emotions are due to female emotion alone. Sometimes undesirable experiences, usually stemming from bad past relationships, results to this kind of female 'shrewdness.'

These undesirable experiences may impress in their minds that the same cycle would be repeated in their current relationships, despite their insistences that they have moved on. At some point in the relationship, this frame of mind will surface.

However, if you use these emotions in a good way, it can actually prolong and improve your relationship. Here are some guidelines to do just this:

Stop trying to understand men. It won't get you anywhere - let it lie that men can be strange sometimes. And don't try to determine their intentions either, as men sometimes do things for no good reason. Trying to understand men is stressful, and does nothing but leave you hanging every single time. It doesn't help to arrive at hasty conclusions either - men resent being stereotyped, and it's a recipe for a short, short relationship.

Stay positive. In dealing with your man, always keep in mind that despite his cool demeanor and inability to fully understand your circumstances, it doesn't mean he doesn't love you anymore.

Keep your emotions in check. Women can be very emotional. However, all emotions have its pros and cons, and having too much of it is definitely not a pro. Before you become suspicious with him, ask yourself before you start asking his actions. Are you overreacting?

When troubled by his actions, think of other things. Try to think of other diverting ideas such as work, family or friends. Keep this in mind - in relationships, as well as in life, whatever you focus on grows. If you focus on the things about him that rub you the wrong way, it'll only get bigger. Divert your tensions and energies into a more productive direction.

Don't badger him about your emotions all the time. Showing him every bit of your frustration will definitely drive him away. Men don't like women who nag too much or are too in touch with their emotions.

Don't patronize the fear emotions. The more you focus on the fear, the more it'll get in the way of things.

Be confident. Tell yourself that you are unique in your own way. Don't let emotions get in the way of your own happiness.

And lastly, be more comfortable with yourself. When you start feeling good about yourself, you develop a sense of trust with your man. Be assertive in these good emotions and your relationship can flourish to long term.
About the Author
Aaron Adams specializes in relationship matters for women. Visit http://www.datingquestionsforwomen.com to find out the ten most dangerous mistakes you probably make with men - and what to do about it.
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