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Surviving The Pain Of Infidelity

Apr 5, 2008
When you married your spouse, there were stars in your eyes. This was the love of your life, and you knew the marriage would last forever. Life would be perfect. You would grow old together, and nothing would ever come between you.

After a while in your marriage, you seem to not be talking to each other anymore and the spice that kept you going seems to have all but disappeared. You start to think maybe your spouse is cheating on you. Would you be able to recognize the signs?

Some signs of infidelity are subtle, while others are more obvious. For example, your spouse may make excuses about working late or being detained at an event, which he or she is attending without you. Perhaps your partner begins returning home with rumpled or disarrayed clothing. Sometimes, he or she may even begin to kiss you differently or respond differently to you during times of intimacy.

Another of the signs of infidelity is that your spouse may become emotionally detached or less responsive to you. This can be subtle, because people who are dealing with work issues may behave similarly. One obvious indicator, of course, is if your partner begins receiving strange phone calls, or the caller hangs up as soon as you answer the phone. Perhaps someone unfamiliar of the opposite gender begins calling and asking to speak with your spouse. These red flags may signal a serious problem with your marriage!

If you see some of these signs of infidelity, how do you go about confronting the person about possibly having an affair? This may depend on your personal style of handling conflict. Some people may deal with the problem directly and simply ask. The questioned spouse may admit or deny having an affair when directly asked. Others may choose to hire a private detective and have their spouse followed.

If you do find out that your spouse is having an affair, how will you cope with this unexpected pain? Surviving infidelity in your marriage can be difficult, but surviving a divorce can actually be more difficult.

Many alternatives to divorce are available, and a trained marriage counselor can help you work together to save your marriage. If your faith is important to you, make sure that your counselor shares your faith. The two most important concepts to remember in achieving this goal are transparency and honesty. Talk about it, and resolve that you want the marriage to continue and that you want healing after affair.

If you are really concerned about your spouse being unfaithful to you, just confront them and have an honest up front conversation. If communication has always been a strong point for your marriage, this will not be a problem. It is always best to try to work through your problems instead of letting all the hard work you have done with your marriage go down the drain.
About the Author
Infidelity creates a pain like no other. At the Affair Recovery Center we know from experience. We can help you cope with infidelity. Don't suffer another day. Start healing from infidelity right now.
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