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Conquering Jealousy: How To Combat Jealousy In Your Life

Apr 6, 2008
Unpleasant though the gut-wrenching, pulse-quickening, rage-inspiring emotion that jealousy is, we have all experienced this feeling to a greater or lesser degree. Jealousy is envious resentment of another person's possessions, achievements, even that person's very existence! The words "envy" and "jealousy" are often used synonymously, but there is a difference: envy refers to resentment of someone else's belongings or successes, whereas jealousy refers more to resentment engendered by the feeling that another person has something which should by rights belongs to the jealous person. There are other emotions involved in jealousy, too - suspicion, fear, rejection - altogether a nasty cocktail!

Some forms of jealousy are beneficial such as the healthy emotion that rouses a husband to protect his wife from another man, but jealousy is usually an unhealthy emotion, and can be very detrimental to relationships. Wasn't it William Shakespeare who said, "Oh, beware ... of jealousy; it is the green-eyed monster."

Although conquering jealousy is not impossible, it can be very difficult. Many thinkers have considered how to cope with jealousy and learning some of these techniques can help the person whose angry possessiveness gives rise to many interpersonal problems.

The first step in conquering jealousy is to analyze your emotions. Why are you jealous? Perhaps you feel insecure, and lack confidence in your own abilities. Are you overly dependent on someone else? Do you feel threatened in some way? Once you've figured out what exactly is bothering you, you can begin to get rid of the jealousy.

You must realize that you have a choice as far as jealousy is concerned. Perhaps you can't help that initial surge of emotion, you can deal with it rationally and keep it under control.

Try to avoid jealousy in the first place by making relationships, for example, clear. Keep your partner informed of what you are looking for, and what you do. Build mutual trust and remember that everyone needs space.

There are some other simple ways to overcome jealousy. Remind yourself of things that you excel at that the person you are jealous of cannot do. Count your own blessings. This positive attitude will help get rid of the sour taste of jealousy. Meditation and calm reflection is another method of doing this.

Practice! Alina Ruigrok offers these simple steps to help in conquering jealousy. Acknowledge your jealousy.

* Locate its source
* Question it
* Make the necessary changes
* Combine jealousy with a more rational emotion
* Practice controlling your jealousy

Getting a grip on your emotions can help you avoid unpleasant scenes, not to speak of making you feel much more positive and happy in relationships. Don't let a fear of loss lead you to the loss in actuality.

If it's not controlled, jealousy can creep up on us and start to eat away at us. It often does this in small steps so that you don't notice the changes happening. Get control of your jealousy - don't let it control you!
About the Author
Discover more ways for conquering jealousy and start to get your emotions back on track. Check out http://www.squidoo.com/jealousycoping
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