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How to Deal with Your Child Being Kicked Out of School

Apr 7, 2008
The British newspapers and media have spotlighted the topic of misbehaving children in school recently. The topic of discussion usually ends with the answer that entails kicking troublemakers out of the classroom setting.

This time, however, the latest spin on this is to make the parents stay at home to look after them, once they have been thrown out of school.

It does annoy me, this kind of nonsense! At least this time there is some talk of keeping open (and maybe even building more) special schools.

After all, if the child is not getting on well in mainstream (which, since they have just been excluded, is clearly the case), then surely the answer has to be to find a type of educational environment in which the DO get on well?

This leads you to wonder what you can do as a parent if your child has been sent home from school for misbehaving. I have thought about this in detail after dealing with the very same issues with my oldest child.

1. You have not failed as a parent. Don't waste time having a pity party for yourself. Perhaps your parenting skills could use some improvement, but that is the case for just about everyone. Try to be a better parent by actively seeking out information through books and materials on raising kids.

2. The school has not failed to support your child. Your school does care about your child and maybe the mishandled education of your child is due to issues beyond their control like not having enough resources or poor teacher training.

3. DO make every representation to the local education authority (LEA) to find an alternative appropriate service for your child. Don't be aggressive, don't be rude, but do be very persistent and very insistent. If need be, see your politicians and even your newspapers.

4. Be prepared to have your child move on to an alternative classroom environment. Be ready for these changes. It is a great idea to comprehend that your child needs this assistance and to take care of it now. It will be much worse in the future if you avoid dealing with your child's misbehavior.

5. Seek out help to see if your child may have a learning disability, ADHD or Asperger's syndrome. These can cause disruptions in the classroom. There is an enviroment in which children who suffer from these conditions can thrive. It is a matter of finding that environment.

6. Don't be tempted to look beyond your child's behavior or kid yourself into thinking that they are a model student. You may feel like defending your child and think that everyone is wrong about his behavior. It is more productive to acknowledge that there could be a problem and work it out with help from the LEA.

These are a sample of the issues you may have to deal with, so be ready to conquer them.

Hope that is of some help to you, if you are struggling with this at home. And, if you are an educator, please don't be one of the ones that keeps trotting out that nonsense about excluding children as being the solution! It helps no one, and solves no problems.
About the Author
Worried about your child struggling in school? Thinking about special educational needs? Get more of Dr. Noel Swanson's parenting tips and articles, and get a FREE gift, at his parenting advice website, and check out his parenting manual and free newsletter.
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