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Getting Your Ex Girlfriend Back-Why You Don't Want Her Pity!

Apr 8, 2008
In the intense emotional upheaval of a break up you may find it hard to keep your emotional balance. And if you are a more melancholy type of guy it can be easy to sink into self pity and depression.

This may sometimes lead you to secretly hope that perhaps if your ex girlfriend knows how much pain you are in she will feel sorry for you and you will get back together again.

It may seem easier to settle for sympathy instead of love when you are feeling this way and you may succeed in getting your ex girlfriend's attention for awhile, women in general have a tendency to want to rescue and help when they see someone hurting and in emotional pain.

But think about why this will backfire on you in the long run. In effect you are saddling your ex girlfriend with your emotional pain, and because women are usually more sensitive and nurturing she may come back to you just to save you from hurting so bad, but this doesn't lay the foundation for a good relationship, you are planting the seeds for a very dysfunctional, co-dependent type of relationship instead. A relationship that will only cause both of you a lot of unhappiness in the future.

And even if you don't consciously realize you are doing it this falls under the category of manipulative behaviors - a serious relationship killer. You may get your ex girlfriend to feel sorry for you and even succeed in getting her to come back, but would you rather have pity or real love?

Settling for sympathy instead of genuine love may be the best you think you can hope for right now, but in the end you will be further behind than when you started. You deserve a lot more and if you don't agree with that then you need to work on your confidence and learn to start liking yourself.

To really have any hope of getting your ex girlfriend back you have to understand that you just cannot attract someone's love when you are being clingy, needy and emotionally desperate.

Instead it's important to take time now and work on yourself. Do things that make you feel better and stronger and help you find a sense of joy and not only will you start liking yourself more but you will also become more attractive to your ex. Then you are ready to begin planning a SMARTER strategy for getting your ex girlfriend back.
About the Author
Hi I'm Claire Tourney. Visit my Squidoo lens Get Your Ex Back - The Smart Way and find out how to get your confidence back and discover a PROVEN, effective plan for getting your ex girlfriend back too!
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