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Forgiveness

Apr 8, 2008
I read this article last night about forgiveness in relationships and it set my mind thinking. I was working on a new project with a friend recently and we were talking about forgiveness as one of the important qualities of a person. According to dictionary.com, forgiveness means the act of forgiving and to forgive means to grant pardon for, to grant pardon to (a person) or to cease to feel resentment against.

"To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness." -- Robert Muller, Assistant Secretary - General of the United States

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong." -- Mahatma Gandhi

Gandhi said it well when he said that forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. For most people, to forgive is a difficult thing to do. In fact to forgive, it takes a whole lot of courage to do it. However, why do we find it so hard to forgive someone? Is is because of the need to let the person knows that we are angry with him/her? Or is it because if we forgive that person, it means that the person wins? In the article, it mentioned, "... you can forgive and not condone." This couldn't be more true. Forgiving someone does not necessary mean that we approve or agree with what that person did.

Most people think that to forgive is all about the other person. The fact is when you forgive someone, you free yourself from anger; anger is a very strong negative feeling and it blocks you from loving.

"He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love." -- Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

"We cannot love unless we have accepted forgiveness, and the deeper our experience of forgiveness is, the greater is our love." -- Paul Tillich

Being angry allowed the person or situation to take over control of you. By forgiving, you are not only freeing yourself but also taking control of the situation and yourself. Being in control will give you the power to choose your reaction. Thus do yourself a favor today and remember that forgiving another person does not set him/her free but it sets you free instead. There is another point which I agree with the article, that forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself instead of something you give to another person. It is the best gift you can give to yourself and you can benefit greatly from it too.

Something from the article, "Learning to forgive those who have attacked me has been a powerful tool in my life. When I harbor anger and resentment toward another person it only hurts me and I am the one who suffers." What do you think? Remember always that forgiveness actually free you rather than from the person you are forgiving and it gives control back to you in your life.
About the Author
The author, Boon Kiat Chua is keen on sharing experience, stories & tips in helping people to improve their relationships with family, friends, & people around them. Find inspiring stories at http://www.symphonyoflove.net/blog. Watch 'What is Love' at http://www.symphonyoflove.net/whatislove.html
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