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Diamonds or Coal For Brains. Sir Walter Raleigh, Men of Old Ironsides. The Wiser Pirates?

Apr 9, 2008
A diamond of a story going the rounds involving American history tells us more about life aboard ship on that first great and famed naval war vessel of the new America, the mighty USS Constitution. Fondly known as Old Ironside, it became the pride of America at sea, this was a new combat vessel that carried 48,600 gallons of fresh water for a crew of 475 officers and men, which was sufficient to carry them six months of sustained operations at sea. Old Ironsides carried no evaporators, which are fresh water distillers.

And this story does note that according to the ship's log, "On July 27, 1798, the USS Constitution sailed from Boston with a full complement of 475 officers and men. Also on board were 48,600 gallons of fresh water, 7,400 cannon shot, 11,600 pounds of black powder and 79,400 gallons of rum." Her mission was to destroy and harass English shipping. On July 27, 1798? History shows the War of Independence over, Yanks got all they wanted, now all family and friends? English might have thought the Revolutionary zeal was off the American bloom, now that the revolting Americans had their freedom.

However, Old Ironsides and her 475 officers and men arrived in Jamaica on 6 October. They took on 826 pounds of flour and 68,300 gallons of rum. Then they headed for the Azores, arriving there 12 November. The ship was provisioned with 550 pounds of beef and 64,300 gallons of Portuguese wine. On 18 November, they set sail for England. In the ensuing days they defeated five British men-of-war and captured and scuttled 12 English merchantmen, salvaging only the rum aboard each. By 26 January, their powder and shot were exhausted. All while Napoleon while preparing his attacks on a hair trigger England, these clowns barf by, cannon shots, whether by Napoleon or Uncle Sam, not well received. Did a war happen in 1812? Why?

Nevertheless, and though unarmed, they made a night raid up the Firth of Clyde in Scotland. The landing party captured a whiskey distillery and transferred 40,000 gallons of single malt Scotch aboard by dawn. Then they headed home. The USS Constitution arrived in Boston on 20 February 1799, with no cannon shot, no food, no powder, no rum, no wine, no whiskey and 38,600 gallons of stagnant water. Sir Walter Raleigh would not have felt that their pirating was quite as wisely managed by these wild new drunks.

Like the US Fed Chairman, Sir Walter would have taken the punch bowl away as the party was beginning to really get going. Diamonds, lads, not just puking over the side rails. Oh, say, can't you see? No Sir, not while barfing at sea. Sigh. Now these less than diamond minds brought home no diamonds or riches. Instead, they had displayed that they knew how to drink and all throw up, heads down like ostriches as they barfed over the side rails.

And if there was a diamond brain in the lot at the beginning of that journey, he held a lump of coal for brains by the time they got back to Boston., No fusty old 1776 Boston tea party brilliance from these lads: half baked beans for brains by Boston town. Diamond mind John Adams was still alive, he would have thrashed them. His favorite distillery and they brought him not a drop. Those lumps of coal. Oh well live and advance. Sigh, sigh, sigh.
About the Author
Derek Dashwood enjoys the combining of science into the humanities to measure politics and use and wise use of power and how it is shown at
It's Her Diamond,Let Her Pick!
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