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Learning Self-Confidence By Observing Others To Help With Blushing

Apr 11, 2008
We all have those people in our lives who are so self-confident that it boggles the mind. The aunt who is short and plump and still flirts with every man she meets. Her husband still flirts right back. The high school math teacher with the thick glasses who gets around on crutches. Previous students are always stopping by to say hello. Your neighbor with the big nose and crooked teeth. She loves to entertain and always has a big smile for her dozens of friends.

These people have physical differences that would make many people very self-conscious, shy and withdrawn. But not them. These aren't those people who are secretly embarrassed by their appearance and put on a false front to hide it. These are the people, who for some unexplained reason, go about their lives as if they are among the most averagely attractive, regular people in the room. You never even see a glimpse of embarrassment pass through their eyes, or hear an apology about additional accommodations that they may need. Self-confidence simply exudes from them.

If you are naturally shy, or developed shyness due to excessive blushing, observing these people can give you some ideas of your own. Like excessive blushing, shyness can only be understood if it's experienced. If you look for parallels in other people's lives and observe how they overcame their difficulties, you will be able to find some techniques or points of view that you may not have considered.

Consider that neighbor for a minute. She loves to entertain and has a lot of friends. She has a wonderful gift of making people feel welcome and relaxed. This gift overshadows anything that may have made anyone else self-conscious by leaps and bounds. Nobody notices or cares about her appearance. They just love to be around her.

The math teacher may have been told by doctors that he would be in a wheelchair by this point in his life. Those crutches may be a symbol of victory for him. He loves to see the look on his students faces when they really begin to understand a mathematics concept. Contact lenses require too much fussing for his taste. Plus, his family tells him his glasses make him look intellectual. Professor-ish, as his daughter puts it.

You don't have to be like these extremely confident people, or anyone else to develop your own self-confidence. You just have to allow yourself to be more of who you are, and reach out to your friends and family in that way. Are you a good listener? Try being the one who calls to chat with friends, especially those who are going through a rough time. Do you love to bake, but don't particularly like to entertain? Bring some snacks to the office to share with your coworkers.

The more that you reach out to people, within your own natural gifts and personality, the more people will open up and reach back to you. Then, before you know it, your confidence will begin to grow all by itself.
About the Author
Excessive facial blushing is a serious and debilitating problem that affects thousands and thousands of people worldwide. Due to the nature of the problem, where most blushers suffer in silence, it gets very little attention by the media and therefore society.
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