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Curing Shyness: How To Stop Being Shy

Apr 14, 2008
Some people find it very easy to think out loud while others prefer to process everything internally before verbally expressing their opinion. The latter type is known by the name of shy individual.

Being shy does not mean being less intelligent than others but sometimes the delay in expressing your thoughts or avoidance to do so may cause you a lot of trouble. Shy people are less likely to get what they desire in life and shyness can be thus considered a negative personality trait.

Why are some people shy while others feel so comfortable when they are supposed to make a speech before people they have never met and not for a moment do they think of censuring their thoughts and words? There are two types of shy people: people who were born or educated to be shy and have never stood up and voiced their inner thoughts and people who have become shy due to some unfortunate experience in the past when they felt ridiculous because of what they said. Once you have been humiliated it's rather difficult to overcome the feeling of frustration and start all over again. From then on you will do your best to avoid embarrassment and will become shy.

Curing shyness is a matter of time and exercise but you must know you can get rid of shyness if you follow some steps. First of all, you must practise some hypothetical conversations (preferably in front of a mirror) with imaginary people. Start with someone you know, a person that is important to you but not your best friend. Choose someone you respect and whose respect you want to gain. Imagine him or her asking you a difficult question and try answering it. It will not be easy to find the right words but you might get luckier a second time (the mirror will still be there). After a couple of attempts you will see you don't even look ridiculous when you are talking openly to someone.

Then, you must stop thinking of your interlocutor and the way he or she perceives the form and meaning of what you say while you are saying it. This goes for large audiences as well. If you keep telling yourself that what you say is important to you and to the other or others, you have a good chance to break the ice. Since you do not wrongly judge people while they are talking to you, why would they be doing that? Human beings have the advantage of talking to each other and this makes things a lot easier for them to understand each other.

A third step in curing shyness is the realization that being open and direct lets others know the true you and this helps improve relationships. Many times shyness is taken for indifference or loftiness and those are worse than anything. Remember the last time you lost something that you wanted only because you had no courage to ask for it. This is a very good stimulus for shy people. They have all experienced the frustration that keeping quiet may bring about when words are expected.

To conclude with, shyness has a good antidote - self-confidence. By learning how to trust yourself and your abilities and to show the best of you, you will be amazed at the confidence others will invest in you.
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