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Online Dating-Making The First Date

Apr 14, 2008
One of the great things about using an online dating site is meeting many great singles from the comfort of your own home. Using either chat or email, you're able to get an idea about a person and you can decide whether or not want to meet them.

The goal of online dating is not to meet people and chat online, but to meet face-to-face other quality singles that you would be interested in dating.

Exchanging emails and chatting helps us to determine the people we would like to eventually meet in person. It's a great tool to weed through the many different profiles on a dating site to find the ones we think are a good match.

How long should you wait before taking the step of a face to face meeting?

I think that you should set up a face-to-face meeting as quickly as possible.

Each single moves at their own pace and you have to be cognizant of someone's comfort levels. Make sure that in your exuberance to meet someone that you don't push them out of their comfort level. This will kill a relationship before it ever gets started.

Why such an urgency to meet face-to-face? Here's a few reasons for you.

* The first date is a blind date.

Regardless of how many emails and chats you exchange, it doesn't take away from the fact that your first meeting is a blind date. Chemistry is a funny thing in relationships, and you can't make it happen. You either will have it with someone or you won't. That's just the way it is. Why waste your time and effort getting to know someone online if there just isn't any physical attraction?

* Don't let your imagination dictate the relationship.

The longer you put off meeting someone, the more you will develop pre-conceived notions on what they look like and how they'll react. The internet gives us all anonymity, and we are able to answer and respond at our own leisurely pace. Someone may be able to craft a brilliant answer to a question via an email, but in person they may not be able to carry on a conversation. These are things you'll want to know before getting too involved with someone, because life is full of normal conversation.

* Keep the initial meeting low-key.

Go out for coffee or for a lunch date. You'll know pretty quickly whether a person is someone you want to know a little better. Don't invest a lot of time or money on a blind date just to find out that there's no spark.

* Meet two or three times.

Once you've decided to meet someone face-to-face, you've officially left cyberspace and you've entered the real world. Follow the rules you would use in traditional dating, unless there is no spark. Go out with someone at least two or three times before calling it off.

To give you an example, close friends of mine (Tom & Joan) had a disastrous first date. It involved Tom forgetting to bring his wallet, Tom accidentally locking the car keys in the car, and a five hour ordeal just to catch a movie.

A funny thing happened, Joan agreed to a second date and they are still happily married after 14 years. Through this series of mishaps, Tom and Joan got a chance to know each other a little better and saw first hand how they each responded to adversity.

Chemistry is the key to relationships, and good chemistry will overcome a bad first date. Don't write someone off just because the first impression wasn't the greatest.

Once you've found someone online, try to meet them in person as quickly as possible. Get out of cyberspace and into the real world of dating. You'll be glad you did.
About the Author
Jim McMenamin is the webmaster and creator of MacsDatingSite.com, a blog dedicated to the various issues of online dating. For a limited time, Jim is giving away two free eBooks, 10 Tips To Writing Your Online Dating Profile as well as 101 Steps To A Happy Relationship, when you sign up for his newsletter .
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