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Why Is There So Little Time

Apr 18, 2008
Following in the footsteps of our friends in the US, the UK are a nation of growing obesity. Cutting down on processed food and taking more exercise are tips that we read all the time. Gyms are springing up all over the place, as are slimming clubs, health warnings are in every single paper or magazine that we pick up, medical insurance comes with its own set of guidelines for healthy weight limits and adjust our premiums accordingly.

However, you can lead a horse to water but you cannot make it drink. Similarly, you can give people all the advice in the world and even make them incur penalties in their finances through increased medical insurance premiums, but you cannot make them change their lifestyles or diets unless they really want to.

Endless excuses are heard by doctors as to why people can't lose weight. No time is the most bandied about excuse on the circuit but let's look a little more closely at the statistics.

It has already been deduced that women spend one year of their entire lives exercising but men spend two years on it. Can't women do more, I hear you ask. Actually, no! Because women have to spend two years shopping and men only have to do it for one year, because women do it for them. Even it out a little guys and we'll gain another six months to exercise.

For medical insurance purposes, we could count having sex as exercise, unless of course, you have the passion of my ex-husband. It seems men and women each spend six months of their lives having sex, again I refer to my ex-husband and suggest this is not entirely equal.

Women spend an extra 18 months, on average, more than their men getting ready to go out. That's 18 months less exercising time because men don't have hair to do or make up to perfect and can stride around in their comfortable flat shoes speeding up the whole process instead of tottering around like a Chinese woman with her feet bound too tightly on a pair of spikes.

No great surprise is that women spend two and a half years of their lives on housework where men contribute just a year and a half. Even that up and we gain another six months of exercise time. This will make women's exercise time the same as men's.

And don't tell me it's because men are at work that they can't do those things. In a recent survey, it was found that men spent ten and a half years working while women go out to work for eight and a half years, that's two years longer at work for a man. Given that the average woman will spend a fraction under three years growing new life I think that evens it out somewhat.

Of course, men need to work more to pay for all the medical insurance that we need to dig us out of the problems brought on by this busy lifestyle. Like all the time women spend cooking - three years of their lives cooking for the men that only spend a year and a half on it. Each sex spends an average of four years of their entire lives queuing. The difference is that women queue for the necessities of life - like buying those new shoes whereas men queue for their beer.

Some tips that the medical insurance companies would do well to give out would be for women, who on average, spend eight and a half years on the phone, walk around while doing so. Get a cordless phone and wander the house while you decry the downfall of your man who is probably, right at this moment, in the toilet, seeing as they spend two and a half years longer than women carrying out this basic function. Just what goes on in there!

Then we have the age old time stealer of watching TV with women being able to rack up thirteen years as opposed to the man's ten years. But when you think about it, that's three years difference, two and a half of which is when the man is in the toilet.

If we all halved our TV watching time and spent that time indulging in exercise, how much healthier would we be? How much would our medical insurance be reduced by? We could use some of that time enjoying a little more than six months sex which doesn't sound anywhere near enough but then again that would produce more babies, more time the women would spend out of action and more reason for the man to hide away in the toilet.

The moral of this story for women is that you simply cannot have cheap medical insurance and a bloke, and for men - just pull your finger out and help a little more.
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