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Is Silence Golden?

Apr 27, 2008
Everyone has heard the old saying Silence is Golden I'm sure.

So what relevance does it have regarding relationships? Well the silence I am referring to is that silence that occurs after a fight, argument or disagreement when one party (the woman in my experience) gives the other the silent treatment refusing to speak to them in fact trying to overtly (very much intentionally and on purpose) ignore that person.

Have you been the victim (or beneficiary) of this silent treatment?

What did you do to make your spouse or significant other refuse to acknowledge you?

Now my experience has been that the funny part of this whole phenomenon is that it rarely causes the desired effect (whatever that may be) from the male. On the contrary the shunned partner now finds himself free to watch his shows/movies/sports events sit in his lounge chair or couch eating sandwiches and generally enjoying himself.

Also he may find himself going out with his buddies or relatives golfing/shooting pool /attending a NASCAR Race/sporting event or concert/ fishing/ bowling working out or whatever is his pleasure.

Now the ignorer starts to realize that not only is her spouse not sitting idly-by contemplating the error of his ways and how he can possibly make it up to her (he usually does not know exactly what he supposedly did wrong in the first place) In fact she (again from my experience and perspective it is the woman freezing the man out in this scenario) starts getting angrier and angrier as she starts to realize that you are not miserable as a result of her "Silent treatment" in fact you appear to be yep here it comes Happy.

You are not only not sad disappointed sorry and yearning for her forgiveness and the sweet sounds of her voice speaking to you in soft forgiving tones but you (she now believes like it better when she is not talking to you, DON'T YOU?)

Ok Ok now you really did it you made the grave mistake (is there any other kind (i can read it back to you) [A gratuitous A Few Good Men reference. Anybody?]

Where was I? Oh yea grave mistake thats right now you really did it she thinks you don't Love her and You don't need her.

So now shes talkin alright and you aren't really enjoying it much as you now have to assure her that you do in fact Love her and need her and that although you appeared happy it was really tearing you up on the inside and you are sorry for whatever she says you did that made her not speak to you in the first place.

Afterwards all is well or at least same as usual and life goes on til the next time you are a victim of the "Silent Treatment"

Now back to my original question Is Silence Golden?

Well I will tell you this yes it is Golden you should learn to enjoy the periods of time when you are a victim of the silent treatment but make sure that you don't look like you are enjoying it too much. Obviously prolonged repeated stretches of no communication between you and yours is a dangerous situation which has to be addressed after all a separate life is not a life together.
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