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Would You Rather Be At Cause, Or At Effect? Well, Would You? Neuro Linguistic Programming Nlp Cause And Effect Pattern

Apr 27, 2008
Cause and Effect is a well-worn phrase. There is the Cause, and there is the Effect. The Cause causes the Effect. The Effect is Affected by the Cause. So where would you rather be? Most people would say they would rather be at Cause. Which is to say we would rather be the person who convinces others to act a certain way.

Unfortunately, a lot of us spend our lives at Effect. Which is to say that someone else says something and we feel bad. Someone else does something and we feel bad. The problem with being at Effect is that we are at the mercy of other people's behavior; if someone behaves in a certain way, we are constrained to feel a certain way, even if we don't want to.

Neurolinguistic Programming NLP teaches us to live our lives as Cause. To be in control of our own states and emotions. Neuro Linguistic Programming teaches us that the alternative is not attractive!

By being at Cause, we choose how we feel, how we behave at any given time. If someone else says something, or behaves a certain way, it has no effect on how we feel or how we behave. After all, how could it Affect us, if we are our own Cause (and therefore our own Effect)?

So, by this time perhaps we can begin to agree that being at our own Cause is a good thing. That's easy to say, but how do we put ourselves at Cause?

The first step is to realize that we have a choice. There are no strings, no wires that connect us to any other human being. They can act the way they want, or say what they want, and it has absolutely no direct effect on what we feel or do. Absolutely none. It only affects us to the extent that we want it to, or to the extent we let it effect us.

The next step is to begin to break the connection between other people's behavior (what they say and do) and how we feel or react. This can be done by analyzing the Cause-Effect relationships we create when we speak.

How many times have we said:

* "She makes me feel sad"; or
* "He makes me angry"

Clearly this is not true. She/he does not MAKE us feel anything, we do. So:

*When she or he does what he/she does, how do we MAKE OURSELVES FEEL SAD/ANGRY?
*What pictures do we make in our minds? What do we say to ourselves? What do we feel?

Have you ever been sad/angry when he/she has not been around? Has he/she ever behaved the way he/she does and you have not felt sad/angry? So what exactly is the relationship between what he/she says/does and how you feel?


* "She makes me feel sad"; or
* "He makes me angry"

If this continues into the future, and your mood is always impacted by what he/she says/does, how will your life be?

How would you like to react to how he/she behaves? Maybe differently?


* "She makes me feel sad"; or
* "He makes me angry"

Are you really the sort of person who allows another to control their state? That's not the sort of person who would be reading this article is it?

These any many other verbal patterns are taken from the Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) Verbal Reframes. These verbal patterns help us to break up unhelpful patterns that we run in our own minds and create positive change in our lives.
About the Author
Shawn Carson is an NLP Master Practitioner and Trainer in New York, offering NLP Training in New York, certified hypnotist, learn how to change your life, personal coaching, weight loss, performance anxiety, www.nlptrainingnewyork.com
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