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The Greatest Thing Since Sliced Bread

May 3, 2008
A well-dressed young man saw a breath-takingly gorgeous woman walk past Macy's in the mall. He was so smitten that he walked behind her as she made her way toward the center of the mall.

The lady saw his reflection in the store windows as she passed them and finally turned and asked: "Why are you stalking me?"

He declared innocently, "Because you are the most gorgeous woman I have ever seen, and I've fallen madly in love with you at first sight."

The young lady smiled and replied," I believe you should look over there at my younger sister who is a whole lot more attractive than I."

The excited suitor turned around quickly and noticed what he thought to be an average looking young woman walking toward him.

"That woman is no where near as attractive as you," he lamented. "You lied to me!"

"No, you lied to me," she countered. "If you were so madly in love with me, why did you look at anyone else?"

"I Ah Well Ah"

His answer was a classical 'Definitely Maybe'! He claimed he definitely thought the young woman was the greatest thing since sliced bread -- and then he thought maybe there's greater sliced bread.

What is amazing is, we do that all of the time. 'Definitely Maybe' people live their lives out of a chronic 'yes -- no' perspective. They limit themselves because they 'under mind' themselves. These folks are decisively indecisive.

* Sure I can. No I can't! * I definitely want that. Well, maybe not. * I will never do that again. Unless.

"We are unable to serve two masters," Jesus says in Matt. 6:24, "for either we will despise the one, and love the other; or else hold on to one and hate the other. We cannot serve God and material wealth."

What Jesus is saying is: 'definitely maybe' doesn't work. You cannot steal second base with your foot on first. You cannot squeeze orange juice out of a watermelon. You cannot put the toothpaste you've squeezed out back into the tube. And you cannot walk the spiritual path on worldly feet.

A 'definitely maybe' mind set typically ends up sending mixed messages. The following story is an illustration. A televangelist stopped a few girl scouts at the street corner and requested directions to the post office.

"Down this street three blocks. You will pass girl scouts selling cookies, so buy some, then turn to your right," the eldest youngster responded.

"You appear to be a bright young lady," said the televangelist. "Have you ever watched my nationally televised broadcast?"


"Well, if you will watch Channel 22 tomorrow morning with your parents, I'll explain to you how to get to Heaven."

"Aw, I doubt it mister. You can't even get to the post office."

What sort of mixed messages would we send if we affirm, on the one hand, that there is only One Presence, One Power, and One Intelligence in our Universe and then at the beginning of trouble give power to outer situations?

What if we say we are one with the Inexhaustible Source of our abundant supply -- and then worry constantly over money?

We have the power to be persistent about our truth walks. We also possess the power to give up that power. Some people like sliced bread. Others like an uncut loaf of bread. Some choose slices of Truth. Others seek the whole Truth -- unbiased, uninterpreted, and non-dogmatic -- so they can render their own interpretations. The important thing is to be willing to stand for something instead of falling for anything.
About the Author
Drs. Bil & Cher Holton are Spiritual Leaders at Unity Spiritual Life Center in Durham, NC, where they practice positive, practical, progressive Christianity. Visit their website at Unity Spiritual Life Center and sign up to receive a complimentary 4-week e-course.
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