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You Shouldn't Have To Do Anything To Be Loved. Right?

May 3, 2008
Many women believe in the idea that you shouldn't have to try to be a better person to make a man love you. After all, a man should love you for who you are - a smart, beautiful, engaging woman - and if he can't do that, then it's his problem. Simply sitting there waiting to be found should be enough until the "right one" comes along.

Well, here's the thing... there's a reason they're called fairy tales.

In the real world, there won't be a "happily ever after" if you don't do your share of the work. If you look at the same women who believe in the abovementioned idea, you'll find that their own love lives aren't exactly the stuff of dreams. It's likely that these women have gone through more than a few relationships that didn't turn out the way they wanted to.

And guess what? They'll blame the "jerks" for not making the relationship work, even if they themselves barely lifted a finger to help out - and then they'll claim that men these days simply don't want to be with real, smart, beautiful women anymore.

That simply isn't true - men these days do love real women, maybe even more now than before. Nobody's perfect, and everybody has their own slip-ups in their relationships. Thinking that all the slip-ups in your relationship is his fault is a one-way ticket to a breakup.

Here are some slip-ups that women make all the time.

Being perpetually pessimistic is probably the most common slip-up made by women who would otherwise be the object of every man's desires. Like everyone else, these women have gone through bad relationships in the past, but make the mistake of using these relationships as guidelines for the ones that follow.

Unfortunately, men can feel these bad vibes on the spot. It only tells men that she's exactly the type of woman to stay the heck away from.

Believing that you shouldn't have to do anything to be loved is the second bad habit of many women who would otherwise make great lifelong partners. Long story short, men aren't really cool with the idea that they have to do everything to keep a relationship afloat every bit as much as you don't. It's one of the worst attitudes to have when you think that you deserve to be loved simply because you're you.

It's simple, really - men would much rather have a relationship with a woman who's easy to please, since it involves much less effort to keep such a relationship going strong. When a woman makes them feel that they're great at pleasing her, then they'd be compelled to keep her happy for a long, long time.

Suffice to say, being hard to please has the exact opposite effect on them.

So in the end, you're presented with two choices - either you can wait for "the one" to come on the proverbial white horse and sweep you off your feet, or you can align yourself with how the world really works and start making things happen yourself.
About the Author
Aaron Adams specializes in relationship matters for women. Visit http://www.datingquestionsforwomen.com to find out the 4 things every man wants in a woman.
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