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Stop Thinking You Have Bad Luck In Love

May 3, 2008
Seeing happy couples walking around simply makes it worse - it reinforces the feeling that you're simply down on your luck when it comes to having a happy, fulfilling relationship with a good man.

I'm sure this sounds familiar to many women, including maybe you. (Otherwise, you wouldn't be reading this article.)

Of course, you don't think it's 100% impossible. But at the same time, you can think of 99 different reasons why such a great relationship won't happen to you in this lifetime. Many women think like you, and it's sad to see how such pessimistic outlooks on your love life can get in the way.

All of the pessimism actually boils down to one fatal mistake that most beautiful, smart - and unhappy - women make.

They let their minds get in the way of things.

These women let these pessimistic thoughts dictate their prospects for meeting new men. In other words, they let their minds do the heart's job - it's like asking a TV repairman to do surgery. The mind is a lousy judge of emotion.

If you've ever found yourself having second thoughts about meeting someone new - such as trying to convince yourself that it probably won't work out anyway, so it's better to quit while you're ahead - then you know for sure that it's not your heart that's in charge of things.

Another fatal mistake that some women make is letting their past dictate their futures. Virtually every woman has gone through a bad relationship - it's just that the better women don't make such a big deal about it and take it out on the next man to walk into their lives. Women who dwell on the bad times are very unlikely to be receptive to any new opportunities on love that come their way, even if it is from someone who could very well be "the one" - and it's a scary thought to have him just walk on by, isn't it?

But that's not the worst of it. Some women insist on keeping these mindsets about relationships because thinking otherwise hurts their pride too much. Alternative ideas, such as having to steer the relationship into the right track while the man barely does anything, may seem unfair or degrading. Such rigid "requirements" for a relationship keep these women from settling into a relationship with a man naturally - which, by the way, is how relationships should really start.

So don't be too hard on yourself if your past relationships didn't work out the way you hoped. It happens to everyone. But simply be yourself and be free of these negative thoughts and outlooks about men. Staying bitter will only make you pin your hopes on "the one" to sweep you off your feet and make everything all better for you - which isn't likely to happen at all.

So stay positive, be yourself, and be open - and you'll naturally draw the right types of men closer. And when they do come, remember not to let the past dictate your future.
About the Author
Aaron Adams specialises in relationship matters for women. Visit http://www.datingquestionsforwomen.com to find out why a man's attraction fades - and how to keep it.
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