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Saving A Passionless Relationship

May 3, 2008
There are some relationships out there, maybe one out of every hundred thousand, that seems to be the stuff that producers of romantic comedies dream of. Everything seems to fall into place for the couple, and their relationship only gets stronger as time goes by. These are the couples that make the rest of us look miserable.

Then, of course, there's the rest of us. The smallest mistake or slip-up could be the stuff that throws relationships on the rocks, and these things can take up to months to clean up. Many of us do manage to stay together and work things out, but other relationships simply get sour and fall apart in the end.

Which of the two categories does your relationship resemble more? I'm quite sure that it's the second, unless you're one in a hundred thousand - who probably wouldn't be reading this article anyway.

You've probably been in a passionless relationship before, and you might even be in one right now. A passionless relationship is obvious when you don't feel the same "butterflies" when you first started going out with him. He seems to talk with you less openly, touch you less frequently, and initiate sex barely once in a blue moon. It's almost as though he prefers to be on his own most of the time.

It's easy to let a passionless relationship end in a breakup, since most women do one of two things. Firstly, most women nag their man about why the "fire" is gone in the relationship. When they do this, the man either gets second thoughts about getting into a deep relationship with them, or decides to compensate by pretending to be more present. Either way, the relationship won't last long.

Secondly, some women choose not to nag and instead stay passive and quiet. Naturally, this can lead to the man getting more and more distant.

Naturally, you don't want this to happen. You can save a passionless relationship by simply to stop doing what isn't working. If nagging or arguing only makes things worse, then stop doing so and focus your efforts on doing things that do elicit genuine reactions from him.

Now try to remember what you used to have in your relationship that swept him off his feet. You may think it was the words being said or the things being done, but actually it's something deeper than that. There was a gut-level attraction - a chemistry, if you will - between you that set things off. This chemistry is also the stuff that makes the great relationships last forever.

Well, good news for the rest of us - the chemistry can be revitalized and used to put the fire back in passionless relationships. Remember, chemistry isn't all about just you - it's about you and him. Stop thinking about what you want in your relationship and start taking him into consideration too.

Why? Because men have different ways of feeling love, and any rules (or guidelines, maybe) you may have about love is different from his. When you learn to see his side of things - and communicate with him in that context - you'll show him that you really do care about his feelings, and he'll be more likely to do his part in turning your relationship into one in a hundred thousand.
About the Author
Aaron Adams specializes in relationship matters for women. Visit http://www.datingquestionsforwomen.com to find out how to get past his resistance for lasting love.
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