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How To Get The Second Date

May 6, 2008
Before you get too far into this you need to ask yourself if you really want a second date with this person. You need to take into account whether or not you have any type of emotional connection with them. If your personalities appear to be compatible and you have similar senses of humor then you're probably going to say "yes" to want the second date. However, if these qualities are present then if you approached them about a second they would probably say yes anyway.

If, on the other hand, you have been set up with this person through one of the numerous dating sites online then this is actually your "second date." On these sites they match people up based on your personalities and allow you to get to know each other in an informal setting. Getting to the second date is very similar in how you get to the first date with the person you met online.

But how do you project that normal and likeable personality? And how do you forge an emotional connection? The first trick is: be yourself. Not the nervous, stammer-y guy or girl you may be around strangers, but your best self. The way you're relaxed around friends. There's a lot of forgiveness for nervousness on first dates, but there's a lot more to be said for confidence.

Be confident but not so overconfident it puts people off to you. In order to develop that level of confidence you must first succeed in those situations where you must exude that confidence. That's where the problem is. If you aren't successful in those situations then it becomes extremely tough to be confident in them. The best thing to do is fake it until you do develop that confidence. The first few times you try it you may be freaking out in your head but keep your composure and play it off. Keep anything self destructive you might say about yourself to yourself and it will work out much better. After a few successful attempts it will get easier each time.

Now, that's just how to act normal. To become likeable you have to be able to admit your short comings and not become defensive if they are brought up. On the other hand you don't want to put them in the spot light either. If they do come up at some point show your sense of humor by making a small joke about it and move on. If your date tends to focus on them throughout the duration of your date then you probably don't want to ask them on a second anyway.

An emotional connection takes work to get, but is easy to identify. If you find yourself making eye contact easily, laughing at the same things (and not polite laughter from the other person, while you roar at your own jokes), and saying the same things at the same time, you have an emotional connection.

Ending the evening at the high point is crucial in getting the second date. This leaves your date wanting to spend more time with you. That right there is the true key to getting the second date.

Don't fake an excuse to leave or you'll seem uninterested. Rather, set a time limit at the start of the date (an hour or so is good) and stick to it. Unless it's going really well. Then you can have the second date in the morning.
About the Author
To get more info on eharmony and other great online dating services, be sure to check out this great site about web dating (TopTenDatingServices.com). You will be glad you did.
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