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How To Rebuild Your Self Confidence

May 8, 2008
There are times in life when your self confidence will take a hard hit. Sometimes you are able to overcome life's challenges, while other times you simply feel overwhelmed. Sometimes, your confidence and courage will see you through. However, there are times when your self confidence will take a beating. Therefore, it is extremely important that you remember "Nobody can hurt you without your consent." The impact the problem has on you, is not nearly as important as the impact you allow the problem to create on you. In your life, it is inevitable you will feel pain, but suffering is definitely optional. Whether you choose to bounce back or endure the pain is purely a choice.

There can be a variety of different reasons why your self confidence may be hurt. Your circumstance may be that you have had a hard marriage and are now headed for divorce court. Or perhaps you did not make the college football team or may have even been laid off work. Undoubtedly, there is a lot of pain associated with any of these situations. However, you don't have to suffer. You can simply choose to resolve or rise above the problem and get back your confidence.

The following are some ways that can help rebuild your self confidence.

Look at the bright side of things.

If you have lost your job, give yourself permission to feel bad for a day or two. However, longer than that is not acceptable. Yes, losing a job is a horrible thing, but it is not the end of the world. In reality, losing your job may be a blessing in disguise. Time away from work may allow you to take a closer look at your life. You can take the time to review your likes and dislikes, as well as your hobbies. This may give you the opportunity to choose a new path in life, one that is more in sync with your aptitude and abilities. Similarly, a divorce may cause you a great deal of pain upfront. However, chances are you were not happy in your marriage. Now, you can begin to rebuild your life and live it the way you want to.

Don't compare yourself to others

Whenever a problem arises, we often ask God "Why me?" Chances are, God has given you quite a few rewards in your life. When you received the rewards did you ask God "Why me?" This is simply what human nature is all about. We often complain and only seek God when we are in trouble. It is important that you do not look at other people who may appear comfortable and happy from a distance. Stop comparing your suffering with their comfort. This will only make matters worse. Instead, try focusing the attention on yourself. Make a genuine effort to get out whenever you are feeling down.

Self pity can be very addicting and in turn, destroy lives. Instead of giving into self pity (although we all do this from time to time), take back control of your life. Own up to your actions and learn from any mistakes you have made. This will help you to obtain a fresh start. Don't let a "NO" get you down. A "NO" is something that everyone, including people like Thomas Edison and Henry Ford has had to face. If you look at it in the right light, you can see that a "NO" is actually just a step closer to a "YES". Reports show that before Edison was successful in producing an electric bulb, he conducted more than a thousand experiments that all failed. Therefore, take the "NO" in stride and keep going.

Are you keeping yourself from moving on?

Shadows form when we stand directly in the path of sunshine. In our lives, we too can cause shadows by standing directly in the way of our own happiness. In today's society, it is extremely important that we remain flexible. People will often search for months for the perfect job, while allowing others to slip away, simply because they are not willing to adapt to some new job skills. Jane, who was laid off from her job as a teacher, tried for several months to obtain another teaching job.

All the while, she was turning down jobs to work as a freelance copy-editor, a nanny position and even private tutoring positions. The extremely long wait took a further toll on her self confidence. Sometimes it is wise to be flexible and try to adapt to another job, rather than trying to find the perfect replacement. This will help to rebuild confidence, which can eventually lead to a better job, in the field of your choice.
About the Author
Kevin Sinclair is the publisher and editor of My-Personal-Growth.com, a site that provides information and articles for self improvement and personal growth and development.
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