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Little Red Riding Hood Meets The Big Bad Wolf On A Dating Site

Dr. Arlene G. Krieger
May 8, 2008
Little Red Riding Hood Experiences Internet Dating "I am not a fair weather friend"... said the wolf to Little Red Riding Hood, as he slipped his arm around her shoulders and handed her a cup of tea...

Margaret was astounded and angry at her own foolishness for falling for her latest boyfriends smooth lines. She was a sophisticated, well educated and quite beautiful woman in her late 40's.

She opted for therapy after being distraught over her bad luck with dating men in her local area. This was not the first female patient that had expressed her disdain for the games that men play in the game of dating online.

Perhaps more than many therapists, I address women's perspectives on these issues not only of dating, but the new-age processes of Internet dating, sex and love. I am not convinced that the problem is specific to any specific locale (many of those interviewed for this article live nation wide). It seems that in our 21st century world of dating, these issues of the search for a soul-mate, lust, and the perfect partner run rampant and can happen from Peoria to Paris.

First and foremost, women are complaining about several major repeated patterns of behavior seen in many of the men they have met. Listed below are the major offenders as stated by many of the women interviewed for purposes of this topic, dating, sex and the quest to be intimate with that someone special.

Here are a few things *not* to do when courting a potential soul-mate:

1. "they all seem to have ADHD...and can't date you without being right back online while dating you"

2. "men lie about their ages and pretend to be something that they are not"

3. Suddenly the conversation goes from little pleasantries and compliments to nonstop complaints about his ex. It is fairly clear she is not yet out of his head and soul if that is all he can talk about.

4. "Some men can't even follow through. They take you on a date, tell you how crazy they are about you, and then don't call back for a week, while having "business lunches" with other women.... all the while having made a date with you for this Friday. All the while he is telling you he is totally committed to you. Huh?

As a single woman myself, I have kissed a pond-ful of frogs. The key question here is.....WHY DO PEOPLE FAIL OUR EXPECTATIONS OF THEM???? And that is exactly what they do, because we set ourselves up for these disappointments!!!!!! People are people are people......thats right....we are humans with human frailties. We all err at times and fail ourselves and others.

In our new cyber-world of "internet dating"......we as women have to be, ...and by the way.........this is not an if, or a maybe, but absolutely a mandate that we "MUST BE" vigilant in our survival instincts!!!!!!! In other words....you must be discerning in your choices and stand firm with them, no matter how smooth the talker is on the other end. If your instincts say this is wrong, then this *is* wrong.

Would you scatter money away haphazardly, or give away your most valued possessions to just any old person that passed your way? Of course not!!!!!!! Then I ask, why are we as women...so often giving away our most precious belonging....our essence and soul energy. Thats right.....your essence.....that which makes up the core of who you know yourself to be, including your sense of self, self-esteem, loving heart, and even your physical life force. Your energy. Your very soul.

If the local men are acting like "boys with their toys"...living their second childhoods all over again, why must we be susceptible to their fragile egos and acting out adolescent behaviors???????

The question that is posed to me daily regarding how to find the "perfect partner" is often raised, the answer lies in loving and respecting yourself-first. On the subject of sex, love and your body, you can never truly give to another, what you have not accepted for yourself. If you don't have love for yourself, there is no real love to emit.

Attaining this type of self-awareness means that, 'you are aware of what the boundaries and pitfalls of internet dating entails'. You're give physical, energetic, emotional, mental, soul-level, and spiritual aspects of your being, while maneuvering through this cyber-space world of the dating and mating process. Why not guard against the dangerous curves in the road ahead???

It is up to you to take responsibility for your own safety and growth. So even if the big bad wolf.....slips you that slippery and slimy cup of tea, it is up to you to decide if you want to go down that path! As they say...."IF YOU DON'T STAND FOR SOMETHING....YOU'LL FALL FOR ANYTHING....little Red Riding Hood.
About the Author
America's 2nd Favorite Sexologist, Dr. Arlene Krieger, PHD practices In Broward County, Fl. She works with individuals and couples, on Relationship, Intimacy and Sexual issues. She is a licensed mental health professional, marriage & family professional, and clinical sexologist offering phone & office appts
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