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No Mistakes

May 14, 2008
Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda...that's what I always say. I have learned that life can either be a learning experience that inspires you to push forward or an excuse to quit trying.

When I was attending iPEC to obtain my coaching certification, they introduced a number of coaching principles, one of which is "There are no mistakes, only opportunities." It has taken me a long time to even begin to understand what this means, but the more I think about it, the more sense it makes to me.

How many times have you chosen to do something and then had it blow up in your face? It's happened to me MANY times, and if you think about it, I'm sure it has happened to you as well. A bad business investment, a failed relationship, an unplanned pregnancy, a messy divorce - and so you lick your wounds, figure out what went wrong and vow to make a better decision the next time around. So, was it a mistake - or an opportunity to learn ways to conduct your life in a more thoughtful manner? Or was it a way for you to catapult yourself in a totally different direction that is more suited for you?

Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda.....turn that into I CAN, I WILL, I SHALL. Look, we all screw up. We didn't come out of the womb knowing how to say all the right things, make all the right decisions. At 16 or 17 years old, our kids are expected to decide what they want to do for the rest of their lives. They enroll in college for one thing and often change their minds, sometimes 3 or 4 times. A mistake? Nah. Did you know what you wanted to do when you were 17 years old? I did. I wanted to be an attorney and live my life as a single woman living in Manhattan. Instead, at 51, I am a married life coach living in the suburbs of New Jersey. What happened? My college career was derailed when I had an accident that left me bed ridden for a year. That year totally changed my focus and I never went on to law school - not even close. That single event changed the course of my life.

So, not only was it an opportunity, it was a part of the journey.

Even if you believe something to be an awful, life altering mistake, that doesn't mean that there isn't something to be gained from it. It's all in the way that you look at it. When my husband died in October 2000, it was the end of my life as I knew it. I was never one to ask, "Why Me?" or "Why Us?" because it didn't matter to me what the reason was; I only knew that I had been robbed of more time with a man whom I loved deeply.

That event changed the foundation of who I am. If my late husband were to return today, he might not recognize the person that I have become as a result of his death. I worry less and play more. I appreciate the little things. I am quicker to laugh, slower to anger and I like to think that I am more compassionate. Those changes led me down a different path - one that brought me to the man I am now married to. He is similar to my late husband in many ways, but different in the ways that work well with the woman I have become.

So, the dilemma is this - how do you embrace the idea that one person's death created an opportunity for someone or something else? I haven't figured that out yet I just know that it is what it is. It is an opportunity.

Why is it that some people can turn adversity into opportunity while others get caught up in despair and self deprecation? It has so much to do with the Laws of Attraction and the power of your mindset and attitude. If you have read or heard about "The Secret" or the laws of attraction you will find that this is not a new concept. Through the ages, there has been evidence that this way of thinking works. Don't you want a piece of that?

If you ant to learn how to turn adversity into advantage, ask us at Your New World Coaching. . Because we can, we will and we do.

Your New World Coaching -- Acknowledge The Past, Live In The Present, Embrace The Future.
About the Author
In 2006 Mary Caprio and Fran Elster formed Your New World Coaching. Both widowed, they had to reinvent themselves. As Life Purpose Coaches, they are now dedicating themselves to helping people move forward.. Website: http://www.yournewworldcoaching.com or email info@yournewworldcoaching.com
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