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Dating After 30

May 15, 2008
No matter what their reasons are, a greater number of people today are finding themselves single after the age of thirty than ever before. One reason may be that our career-driven society leaves little time for a social life. We're told to graduate high school, go to college, get our degree, maybe get another degree, find a successful job and then worry about a relationship. Compare that to 50 and 60 years ago when the norm was to get married right after high school and it's no wonder that things are so different now. Women used to go to college to find a husband, now it is almost taboo to settle down and have children before you've established your career.

Chances are that the reasons you are over thirty and still single are the very same things that will make it difficult to date now. It is not always about finding the right person, you also have to be the right person. As hard as it may be to admit, dating after 30 may require some behavior modification on your part because, as you can see, whatever you are doing right now is not working. If you are a workaholic whose job has always come before their personal life, it may be time to reevaluate your priorities. If it is a fear of commitment that has been keeping you from having successful relationships, until you address that problem it won't get any easier.

Dating is difficult at any age, no one is arguing that point. Still, it does seem that once you enter the third decade of your life the singles pool starts to empty out a bit. Some people think they have to start lowering their standards, but there are still a lot of great single people your age if you know where to look. You are still allowed to be just as picky and discerning as you were in your twenties.

There are a lot of reasons that dating in your 30's can actually be the best time to date. Men tend to be more established and stable by the time they've reached their thirties, not to mention mature. You have a better chance of finding a man that actually wants to go to a wine tasting with you instead of convincing you to drive him and his buddies to the Incubus concert. Women in their thirties are often much more confident and independent than they were ten years ago. Nothing against the twenty-something girls, but they can often be a little needy, which is great if that's what you're looking for but a nightmare if you're not.

It's the age of the internet so you had to know this was going to come up. Online dating is bigger and broader than it's ever been before. Though people still meet up randomly in chat rooms and hit it off, now there are personality profiles and background checks involved. Blind dating has gone high tech, but don't get so caught up that you forget people have been meeting without the internet for centuries.

Good old-fashioned dating is a lot less common these days, especially as technology becomes a larger part of our lives. There are still ways to meet a prospective mate face to face, starting with first names instead of screen names. You can volunteer for your favorite charity, hospital or organization and it serves several purposes. Not only will it surround you with people who share your interests, but you're giving something back to your community in the process. Sports leagues can also be great ways to meet people if you're the athletic type. Even when you're not meeting someone special you're having a good time.

Whether you have been out of the game for a while and you're returning or you're a regular that just hasn't found that special someone yet, dating can be tough. It's basically trying people on for size and seeing how they fit. You rarely ever find perfectly fitting jeans in the first pair you try on, they may not even be in that store. The best thing you can do is just enjoy the shopping trip and when you least expect it the right ones will find you.
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