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Can You Fix Your Break Up?

May 16, 2008
Often, when a couple breaks up, it is the result of one person deciding that the relationship is over. That means that one of the people is probably not in agreement and may still be completely in love. When this happens, if you are the partner who desperately wants to get back together, you will have to do it on your own.

Can you actually fix a break up? We've all heard of the on again, off again relationships that many people have, but most of them seem to terminate completely after a while. But that doesn't mean you have to become a statistic. It is possible to get your ex back and continue your relationship, but it won't necessarily be easy.

It's all about timing. Racing after your ex to beg him or her to take you back is most definitely not the right way to go about things. Almost all experts agree that you should take a 30 day breather to just step back, re-evaluate things and to plan how to get your relationship back on track. It's usually best if you have nothing to do with your ex during this time, though sometimes it is inevitable that you'll run into each other. Keep things civil (try not to burn any bridges!), but brief and move on.

This breathing period is the ideal time to get back on your feet and make any self-improvements that you feel are needed. Everything from the cosmetic to the inner you is up for improvement during this time and you should make every effort to focus on yourself at this point. After the 30 day period is over, you can think about getting back together with your ex, but for this month, you need to really pay attention to your needs and make sure that you are ok.

During this time, you might want to get a makeover, take a vacation or get back into something that you gave up to be in a relationship for. This will give you a bit more balance and make that initial period of temporary insanity end faster, ensuring you don't do anything silly to try and get your ex back before the 30 day resting period is up.

Often, couples end up getting back together and mending their break ups temporarily because they can't manage to be on their own. This is the wrong reason to get back together and the 30 day rest period will allow you to bypass this common problem and make sure that you want your ex back for the right reasons. If you find that after 4 weeks, you still love him or her, it's far more likely that you'll be able to make the relationship work the second time around.

There are plenty of wrong reasons to get back with someone. Watch that you aren't trying to reconnect because of outside pressure, such as from family members or friends. Public expectations shouldn't be involved in the decision, hard as it may be to exclude them from your decision. It's your relationship and you need to make the calls.

Break ups can be fixed, but it takes work and you need to be ready yourself before you attempt a reconciliation. Make sure you aren't trying to reunite for the wrong reasons, being in the habit of someone isn't a good reason to get back together! But with the right intentions and the right techniques, you'll be far more likely to make your relationship a success.
About the Author
If you just aren't willing to give up on your relationship, check out this Magic of Making Up Review.
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