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Online Dating Tips: Have Fun And Avoid The Scammers

May 16, 2008
Online Dating really can be fun and it's a great way to meet the true love of your life, but certain characters can really get into your wallet if you don't know what to look for and how to avoid them. This is especially a problem on the so called "Free" sites.

We call these people "scammers" and they love to hang out on web dating sites. Learn how to avoid the scammers and really enjoy your internet dating experience.

Scammers are individuals who do not have intentions of inflicting any physical damage upon you; they just want your money. Unfortunately these people abound on web dating sites. Quality online dating sites are taking as many steps as possible to weed this type of member out. Unfortunately, it isn't possible to catch them all in advance and the website requires some evidence that a member is scamming before it can refuse them or terminate their memberships.

Websites that charge for services are going to be far more diligent about guarding against scammers, and in fact the so called "free" sites have some reason to welcome scammers as they are the ones that really are best at appealing to many members and keeping the site busy.

If you find someone clearly trying to scam you, report their activities to the website. A quality site will investigate and terminate the Scammer's membership if called for, and it will also notify all members when a scammer has been discovered to ensure that no one else is caught in their web. If you aren't satisfied with the site's response condsider moving on and joining another site.

Scammers are almost invariably (probably 95% of the time) registered on a dating site as a female member. That doesn't mean they are female, frequently the person behind the female profile is a man, and just as frequently a couple, one man and one woman. The scammer will develop your interest in her, and then start to need your assistance, financial assistance specifically.

At first, usually the amount she needs seems so small to you that you can't believe it is a scam. In your mind it just isn't enough to bother with. Maybe she developed a computer problem, and if she can't get it fixed how can she continue to communicate with you? Maybe her Mom is ill and needs some medicine. She hates to place her problems in your lap, but she feels so close to you already, and she has nowhere else to turn. Of course you'll send her the $50 needed to solve this problem. You love that she would ask you to help.

The tricky part is that it could easily be true, maybe her computer really did break down, maybe her Mom really is sick. You can't be sure and to turn her down may just cost you the most wonderful chance at happiness you've had in years.

It could all be true, and the scammer knows that, that's why her/his story is so good. But it may not be true, and there may be 19 other guys falling for the same story at the same time. Suddenly that $50 is actually $1,000 and that's a nice monthly income in China, and a small fortune in a place like Russia, Vietnam and most other third world countries.

And it could just be stage one of a plan to eventually invade your bank account or turn you into a monthly supporter. We have heard from good sources of female members on some Russian sites who have 4 or more "fiances", each of whom is supporting her with a good monthly income.

Other scams involve simply getting you to provide your email address, which batched in with hundreds of others is a saleable commodity. Or to have you click on a link that will ultimately allow her/him full access to your computer, your identity, your personal information and ultimately, your bank account.

Watch out for a member who too quickly wants you to go directly to personal email contact. If in that first or second message you are already being asked to get off the website and email her address from your own, ask yourself why?

You can continue to message her from your web dating site for a long time at no additional cost. One of your greatest protections is just to stay on the dating site for communications until you are confident she is for real. So why give her your personal address before you are sure she is for real?

The scammer desperately wants off site as quickly as possible, to avoid being caught and to get more personal. Usually a scammer will tire after maintaining contact on the site for even a few messages, because she/he wants easier targets to deal with. She/he will drop you and move on to easier fish to catch.

Again, watch out for someone who is too quick to ask for money. For example, in the case of a website focusing on introducing Chinese women to International men, genuine and sincere Chinese ladies do not wish to lose face with you, and to ask a stranger for money is a loss of face. She will do almost anything to find other sources of money such as borrowing from friends or family, taking a second job, or even selling something she owns, before she will lose face with you if she is genuinely interested in you for the right reasons.

This is likely true of all genuine and sincere women of any culture who really are interested in you, not only Chinese women.

Just keep these things in mind and you'll be safe from scamming. I repeat, if you do experience a scammer's attention you should notify your website. A quality online dating site is constantly on guard and policing for scammers, and they'll react quickly to a complaint from a member in order to protect all the website members.
About the Author
John Abbot, is co-owner of www.ChinaLoveMatch.net, a Quality Online Dating site. Married to a lovely Chinese Lady, and living in China, John knows and respects Chinese Women, Chinese People and Chinese Culture. For more good stuff By John on Online Dating, Chinese Women, International Relationships and Things Chinese go to http://www.ChinaLoveMatch.net and click on CLM eMagazine.
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