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Online Dating Tips: Have Fun But Ignore The Game Players

May 17, 2008
Online dating really can be fun and it's a great way to meet the true love of your life, but certain characters can become an annoyance if you let them. We call these the "game players" and they abound on web dating sites. Hopefully this will help you learn how to ignore the game players and really enjoy your internet dating experience.

Game players are website members who are not after your money, but they are after something of value, your pride, your psyche, your sense of well being. They are usually male members, but that statistic is becoming less true all the time. These are people who, for some reason, stroke their own egos by damaging yours.

It's okay to play games if the person on the other side is also playing games, and both sides are aware of it. But it's quite another thing to deceive someone into trusting you just so you can deflate their pride or even break their heart. But for some reason the game player thinks that a "loss" for you is a "win" for him/her.

The variety of games being played is endless, far too varied to provide a list. In the case of male game players, probably the ultimate goal is a consensual sexual conquest. But it might be a final giving in to a request for sexy pictures, or something more innocent, like simply having a number of womens' interest, all wanting him at the same time.

For the female game player the goal might be receipt of nice gifts, especially from several men at the same time, or maybe she finds self worth in being told she is loved and admired by as many men as possible. The point is, don't let your self worth suffer at the hands of these people.

For the dating site it is almost impossible to control this behavior. It can't terminate someone's membership because another person complains of ill treatment unless that is backed up by solid evidence, and solid evidence is almost impossible to provide. Given undeniably clear evidence of improper behavior a good site will terminate a member's status, but it almost always becomes one member's word against another, and the website cannot be the one to judge on that basis.

However, most dating sites do offer one excellent tool to protect you from another member's unwanted attention, your "blacklist". On quality online dating sites you are entitled to place any other member you wish on your blacklist and once on your blacklist that other member is unable to contact you in any manner. Use your blacklist to get the game players out of your life.

Watch out for someone who:

1. Is too quick to express real love (why would someone seriously searching for a life partner jump into "love" overnight);

2. Seems preoccupied while chatting with you (maybe he/she is chatting with several members at once);

3. Doesn't remember the things you've written in your profile or told him/her in a previous message (maybe he/she is juggling too many dates); or

4. Says something in a chat or a message that doesn't seem to be directed at you, like asking you about Sidney, Australia, when you live in Vancouver, Canada (maybe you're being confused with someone else on his/her list of conquests).

Most importantly of all, when you find yourself the victim of a game player, remember that it is his/her fragile sense of self worth that brought you there, not your own. He/she is truly the "loser". Don't give up on the rest of the members of your favorite site because most of them are truly, sincerely and honestly searching for you. Take care to avoid the game players, and online dating can be great fun and it can lead to a true and lasting relationship.
About the Author
John Abbot, is co-owner of www.ChinaLoveMatch.net, a Quality Online Dating site. Married to a lovely Chinese Lady, and living in China, John knows and respects Chinese Women, Chinese People and Chinese Culture. For more good stuff By John on Online Dating, Chinese Women, International Relationships and Things Chinese go to http://www.ChinaLoveMatch.net and click on CLM eMagazine.
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