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Four Ways To Engage Cooperation From Your Child

May 18, 2008
Parents need some tools to engage the co-operation of children. The following are some useful tips for me that I learn from Parenting with Confidence Workshop and would like to share with you.

1. Give time for preparation

Some children need time to prepare of a departure or a change in activity. It will help to get them more prepared and less resistant. Five minutes warning help to prepare the children for the next activity and reduce the resistant of the children.

For instance, mother said to her child,"Peter, we are going out to visit Aunt May in 5 minutes time. Let's get ready." She found that Peter became more eager to obey by giving him 5 minutes to prepare himself rather than stop his activity immediately.

2. Learning from mistakes

When children make mistakes, it is important to use it as an opportunity to teach children. Parents may ask them what they learn from the experience in an understanding and support way.

For example, a child spilled water on the floor. Mother said to her son, "What shall you do now?" She gave her son time to think what he would do at that moment. Then, he started to take a cloth to clean up water on the floor.

After the incident, parent may ask the child,"How do you feel during this incident? What do you learn from it?" Mother asked her son about his feeling in the above example. He told mother that he was scared when he spilled water because he had down something wrong. He told his mother," I learnt to be responsible by cleaning up the water. I shall be more careful in future."

3. Family rules

Parents can reduce the resistance and confrontation by making your child realize that your decisions are being made according to family rules. Therefore, parents are not picking on them. For example, books are not for throwing. Books are for reading and learning.

4. Implementation of timetable

It is advisable to set up a routine for your child to follow. It leads them to have a more discipline lifestyle. They will know what are they expected to do at different point of time.

For instance, their favourite item will be served after the dinner time. Play time will be after the homework time.

In conclusion, 5 minutes preparation, making use of mistakes as learning opportunities and use of rules and timetable are the effective tools to engage co-operation from children.

(Source of reference: Parenting With Confidence-with permission to use from Focus on the Family Singapore Ltd)

Disclaimers: The author shares this article based on her personal and work experience and disclaims any responsibility for any liability, losses or damages and /or application of any of contents of this article.
About the Author
Ms Mak Wai Chong, a mother of 3 children, is a freelance trainer and counsellor. She has worked as social worker and counsellor for 17 years. Visit her website at WiseParents.net for prenatal training and parenting information and FREE newsletters.
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