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Will Sex Therapy Work For Couples When Other Modicums Fail?

Dr. Arlene G. Krieger
May 20, 2008
Let's start with why you may need a sex therapist and what to expect in sex therapy, and what sex therapists can accomplish in your life. It is important to understand that we as human beings don't exist in a unilateral world. We are almost always in relationship with one or another persons. Whether it be work or personal life, there is a systemic flow to who you are and how you interact in the world around you. In your relationship the issues of sex, intimacy, love, career, health and life in general all add up to who you and your mate are, together, as one entity.

Sexologists like to break down these individual issues and isolate the actual sexual issues from the relationship factors. It is a complex issue, for sure, to separate the two, but that's precisely what your sex therapist tries to do. In better understanding sequences of behavior and patterns of interaction in your relationship, therapy helps you to gain clarity on who you are and what you expect from your mate. Your relationship and sex life are in fact dependent upon one another.

Let me point out that fixing your relationship doesn't necessarily mean a quick fix for your love life.There is a formula in therapy and sex therapy. We don't simply sit in our chairs and pull questions out of thin air like rabbits out of a hat. The original therapeutic models for sex therapy go back 30 years to the pioneering sexologists.

The couples who enter our offers run the gamut of issues and complaints from performance anxiety to lack of libido to erectile disorder to orgasm dysfunctions (and many, many others). Many simply have given up and feel there is no love left. Sometimes that is the problems, sometimes not. That is where a good sexologist can come in very handy.

Many sex therapists also handle a variety of alternative lifestyle sexual and relationship issues. A very important issue we handle daily is human communication regarding a couple's personal relationship and sexuality. We often have to wear many hats.

Most sex therapists devote much time and energy researching their profession, long after college, in order to gain an understanding of human sexuality and human behaviors as times change. The training and coursework is very specific to sexuality issues. In choosing a therapist of your choice, make sure that the clinician you choose, has received both a proper education, as well as clinical supervision from a university that offers a state qualified graduate program including human sexuality.
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