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Timely Counseling Could Save Your Marriage

May 22, 2008
The sad fact is that far too many people wait too long before going for marriage counseling and in most cases it ends up being too late. Counseling has the potential to save marriages, by providing a space in which couples can explore their sources of conflict and arrive at a new understanding of their relationship and with each other. Unfortunately, many people tend to hesitate before going into counseling. For some, counseling may even seem like an admission of failure. That's truly unfortunate, because it's far from true, but that perception can be very influential in peoples decisions.

Timely counseling can save your marriage - if both partners are commited to the marriage and to the counseling process. The time to seek it out is not after all the conflicting damage has been done, and your marriage and home environment are becoming contentious and inhospitable. Rather, the time to take this step is as soon as you notice that problems or issues are coming up for you or your partner, or communication is starting to breaking down.

As mentioned before, for counseling or therapy to be helpful, both partners must be absolutely commited to and desire the process. They must be willing to participate fully, with the intention of improving and saving the marriage by working out their disagreements in a comfortable and safe environment. If one partner has already detatched himself, either mentally or psychologically, the counseling process will be useless and little results will be gained. At that point, individual counseling is usually what is needed, and the chances fo saving the marriage are slimmer although it does come down to the commitment of the person who is undertaking the counseling.

Of course, there are other actions you can take to save your marriage other than just counseling. Some couples are able to do this themselves, without any outside help or intervention. Others get through difficult times with the help of family and friends who are able to offer a different angle or viewpoint to help form a solution to the problems. Some marriages are even helped by individual therapy - not just to help you separate if needed, but to allow you to enter the marriage more fully.

For example, sometimes your negative experiences or problems in a previous relationship can carry over into your present one, or a traumatic event from the past can affect the way you function today. Your marriage might be bearing the strain of these past events. Having the courage to face with and deal with these issues might be what is needed to save your marriage.

Ultimately, it all comes down to your (and your partner's) level of commitment to the marriage and making it work. If both partners are fully commited, they will do anything that is needed to make the marriage work. Usually, that means they will be successful. Most marriages can be saved, and nowadays, we have plenty of resources open to us to help us do so.
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