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What Are You Looking For, Anyways?

May 24, 2008
You must eventually ask yourself, "What exactly am I looking for in a person? What am I looking for in a future spouse?" Even as you might be dating, that question has to come to mind at some point. There was a story of a teenager who was teased a bit about deciding not to date. His friends kept badgering him about it and asked why he wasn't dating. They told him that dating was good; it was practice. He replied by saying, "I don't want to be practiced on!"

Not bad advice. With that being said, here is another test. What are you looking for most in a person? Excellent question. And one that deserves an excellent answer. Is it looks? Is it similar interests? Is it intellect? They are all often fleeting and non-lasting traits. What about a person who will support you financially, someone who is independent, or someone who likes fishing? Well, not bad reasons. But, what are you looking for MOST in a person? Have you ever thought about it?

As I view the landscape of teenage dating, I see a lot of people settling for someone. Do you know what I mean? It's like when you go up to the counter to order something, but they don't have it. True story ... I once went to Kentucky Fried Chicken and they didn't have chicken! I had to settle for a biscuit and some mashed potatoes! Oftentimes, teenagers settle for second best in their dating relationship. If you believe in yourself, shouldn't you desire the very best? Don't you think that there is someone out there who is, for you, the very best?

If you would ask many married people today, they would likely tell you that they would have wished that someone, ANYONE, would have held their dating standards to a higher level, ANY level! We would be well-served to hold that standard high. It is very similar to how wars were waged in teh past. Centuries ago, as armies marched toward the enemy, there was always someone who carried the flag near the front of the group. He was called the standard bearer. He carried their flag. He would not let it drop. In fact, if he was shot or killed, which was often the case, someone near him would pick that flag up and march forward! What an excellent picture for us when it comes to life. We need to hold our dating standards high or suffer the consequences of dropping those standards.

I heard of a guy who took this question, "What do you want most in a person," and put it into practice. He wrote a page full of "mate traits." He wrote line after line of things he wanted in a wife. They ranged from somewhat menial (blonde hair) or the more important (an encourager). He wrote all these traits and tucked them away for safe keeping. Well, years later this man went on to marry someone. They had settled into life and were about to move to another house. As they were packing things up, he was cleaning out the dining room hutch and getting things in order. As he was cleaning, a piece of paper came floating off the shelf of this hutch and gently landed on the floor. He was curious as to what this single piece of paper might be. As he opened and began to read, tears welled up in his eyes. Not only was this note nostalgic, but he was overtaken by what, after all these years, had happened. Married twenty years and reading this list of mate traits, one by one the traits were answered - and then some. He was overwhelmed. That is not only a true story, but a story that can happen to you.

What do you want most in a person? I would encourage you to do the same thing that guy did. Begin today to write a list - a lengthy list - of traits you want in a lifelong spouse. Don't leave anything out. Be crazy. See if by "shooting for the stars", you might receive your greatest wishes - someone who completely complements you completely. Go ahead and ask yourself, "What am I looking for, anyways?"
About the Author
Speaking to teenagers, adults, and children, Jerry's gifts allow him to relate and connect with any audience regardless of age. His down-to-earth style is engaging, humorous, practical, and passionate. See for yourself by visiting http://www.jerryackerman.net.
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