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How To Get Your Man To Be A Ten Out Of Ten

May 26, 2008
At last comes a report clarifying what women have always known. Nagging truly does work!

We're all aware that men require a degree of changing once you marry them. In fact, there is a scale of changeability and depending on where the male comes on that scale, depends on whether or not we accept the proposal in the first place. Marks out of ten decide whether or not there is a possibility of improvement. A ten is a good score and there is a high chance that the male will be mouldable and house trainable. A one is a steer clear unless you really think a long term relationship with all those annoying habits is feasible.

You may be flattered that he pays attention to personal grooming before he takes you on a date but will you be as happy five years down the line when you are picking up his toenails from the side of the bath every Sunday?
You may see it as your wifely duty to want to look after him and if the poor baby can't remember to pick up his dirty socks from the floor, or the towels off the bed then you will be happy to assist. Believe me, this attitude won't last and you will begin to feel like his skivvy.

And what about that smoking habit? Easy to put up with when you don't live with him but what about once you're embroiled in wedded bliss and you find all your clothes smell of cigarettes all the time. That your home that once smelt of fragrant cleaning products still smells of stale cigarettes even after a day's scrubbing.

If you want your partner to stop smoking after so many years of being with him you may find this much more difficult. He has got comfortable with you and your attempts to get him to stop smoking will be seen as a red rag after his mates have warned him that you will try to change him. Even if he wanted to stop smoking, he would want to rebel against you but persist you must.

Research has proved that constant questioning or orders leaves us open to persuasion which means that given long enough, your nagging will force your partner to stop smoking, put that shelf up and pick up his own socks and toenails. He really will be too mentally exhausted to protest.

Other tips to get your partner to stop smoking or, in fact, making any of the necessary changes, include not hesitating when putting in your order. This shows weakness and is a sign of a asking rather than telling. And we all know what simple creatures men are. They respond much better to a direct statement rather than something that they have to make a decision on.

You may have started off this relationship cursing his mother for doing too much for him but when you need changes to be made and a simple, subliminal message suffices, you will be glad he is unable to make his own decisions and is used to a woman doing it all for him.

If you have kids, take a tip from them. My daughter advised her brother that if he wanted anything that he was unsure I would agree to, he would be better off to ask me while I was on the phone. This was a revelation to me and I thought back to all the things she had wheedled permission for while I was mentally unavailable.

If your partner comes back from a hard day at work or is mentally engaged in something else, now would be a good time to make suggestions about how he should stop smoking. Don't give choices or ultimatums. This will make you look weak and will tell him you are not serious. And never hesitate. State clearly what you expect and persist in the same line of conversation without let up. Eventually, you will wear him down and he will become a ten out of ten. You can give him these scores as a reward but don't tell him what they are for. He will probably decide for himself what you have scored him on and there is no need to shatter his illusion.
About the Author
Relationship expert Catherine Harvey looks at the old art form of nagging to get your partner to stop smoking among other things.
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