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Are You A Good Reciever?

May 31, 2008
All of us have desires we would be thrilled to see actualize in our lives but often can't seem to make them happen. If you are taking action to make your wants happen but seem challenged in getting them, it maybe due to a lack of good receiving skills.

Let's imagine a group of friends, Kelly, John, Larry, Julie and Rebecca, go out for lunch. Larry is just full of compliments...

a) Larry: John, congrats on your promotion at work.
John: Well, I worked 12 hour days for the last 6 months.

b) Larry: Rebecca, your new condo is really great.
Rebecca: Oh well, I am barely making it. Hopefully I can keep up with the expenses.

c) Larry: Julie, your garden is shaping up nicely.
Julie: Thanks and Larry, I love what you did with the living room paint.

d) Larry: Kelly, I love your new sweater.
Kelly: Thanks.

What kind of receiver are YOU? Are you like...

a) John? Do need to justify why you deserve what you got?
b) Rebecca? Do you need to diminish your success so others don't feel smaller than you?
c) Julie? Do you feel like you need to reciprocate the compliment to be polite? Even if you really don't feel what you are saying to them?
d) Kelly? Are you able to receive a compliment, no strings?

If you are like Kelly, you are probably a good receiver. What does this mean in relation to your life? Well, if you have been visioning what you want AND taking action, but not seeing results, you may not be a good receiver. How are you supposed to ACCEPT your good into your life, when you can't even receive a simple compliment and feel you deserve it, no strings?

Let's analyze the 4 types of receivers:

a) The Justifier: Often, something inside you doesn't really believe you are worthy to receive and so you must find reasons why you deserve it. Sometimes it is because every time you have been giving something in the past, it was NOT unconditional. It was another person's way of subtly manipulating you into doing what they wanted. And so you learned that you are not worthy to receive just for the sake of it. Now, to be cautious of receiving, you feel the need to justify.

b) The Diminisher: you want to be socially accepted. You would never want to make someone feel bad about his or her own situation because you have more. It may create jealously and affect your relationship long term. You respond by diminishing your own success.

c) The Reciprocator: You have been taught that when someone gives you something, you must give back. As a result, you go out of your way to return the compliment or favour. That is not to say that you shouldn't give to others. Absolutely give and spread the joy BUT only give when it is genuine and unconditional.

d) The Receiver: You understand that the world is a balance of give and take. You are comfortable in receiving as you are confident that it will come back to the other in some form or another.

Now that you are aware of your receiving pattern, start noticing your reactions and focus on simply saying "thank-you" when receiving a gift or compliment. If you don't already do this, it will feel really strange. But keep it up long enough and you will change your pattern and slowly start to receive your desires. Happy Receiving!
About the Author
Cindy Ashton is an expert in helping people kiss their monsters & unleash their courage. Born with a 20% chance of living, Cindy's life triumphs are a miracle. She presents keynote speeches, interactive seminars & motivational concerts across North America. http://www.cindyashton.com
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