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Do You Want To Rekindle Your Relationship?

Jun 6, 2008
It's a harsh reality that breaking up with a loved one hurts. It's been proven that break-ups can even have very real physical effects including stomach pain, weight loss, headaches, and fatigue. So it's natural that a person who recently suffered a break up would want to anything they could to stop the pain--and in most cases, this means getting their ex back.

Right now you may not know what to do and feel completely lost. This is understandable, but the last thing we want to do - which I think you would agree with, is acting out of confusion.

The first requires some introspection on your part. The intensely emotional nature of most break-ups almost inevitably leads the person who's been broken up with to leap to conclusions about their ex. It is essential that you do not do this.

The first fundamental begins with responsibility. The key to any healthy relationship is balance. Two people who care deeply about one another do not become dependent on the other but interdependent. They are there for one another and really respect one another. In terms of interdependence each individual takes responsibility for their actions. The first problem when relationship breaks down is that we start to not take responsibility for our actions.

That doesn't mean taking the blame for everything that went wrong, however. If you do feel as though your ex could improve the relationship through their actions, tell them so, but so do diplomatically and with as little judgment as possible.

But all that is only half the battle, of course. Good communication is the key getting your ex to a place where they feel comfortable taking you back. So be sure to listen to their side, too. Although you may not like what they have to say, you'll learn more by not interrupting and not taking everything as personally.

Maturity leads to communication. Communication is about sharing, when your mouth is in gear you are learning nothing. Trust me what's in your head is old news. So you need to listen. Once you do listen I suggest not reacting, in actual fact once your ex has gone through everything, even if it upsets you, just leave it there, and take time out before trying to figure out a solution.

Lastly, take this time to consider why, exactly, you want your ex back so badly. Is it really because this is a person you want to share your life with, or is it simply that you don't remember how to be without them anymore? Even if you have just gotten out of a long relationship, chances are you haven't been with that person your whole life. There was a time when you did alright without them. Take the time to consider whether this person is an integral, important part of your life now or if you can possibly build a new life without them in it.
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