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How to Effectively Save Your Marriage

Jun 6, 2008
If your relationship is on the rocks and you are afraid divorce is inevitable, think again. You may, with the right skills and enough effort, be able to save your marriage. However, it is not an easy process and both partners have to be willing to put in the work. You cannot fix a relationship by assuming the answer is your partner giving in. Here are a few tips on how to rescue you and your love from a bad situation.

You are an equal partner. Understand that the key to saving your marriage is not getting everything you demand or giving into whatever your partner once. These kinds of solutions are short term band-aids that only allow the situation to get worse. You both have to have an equal part in the relationship, though equality does not mean that you have exactly the same roles.

Remember that everything can be fixed. There is no problem that is impossible to repair if you and your partner are willing to work on it. It does not matter if you are feeling incompatible in the bedroom, dealing with an affair, or having money problems. Learning to communicate and being patient will help both of you come to terms with whatever has happened or is happening.

That does not mean that all sins have to be immediately forgiven, but you do have to be willing to work on the situation. Learn not to accuse or judge, even when you are angry or you feel your partner is in the wrong. With enough work from both sides, your relationship can be salvaged.

Communication is important! Your partner is not a mind reader and may not know why you are feeling agitated or unhappy. However, in order to effectively communicate the problem, you also have to know what it is. It is vital that both partners in a relationship learn to examine their own thoughts, emotions, and assumptions to come to a balanced solution. You cannot save your marriage if you do not know what is wrong.

Think hard about what the problems are and where they are really coming from. It is easy to blame your troubles on something obvious, but that is not always the real root of the trouble. Once you know what is happening in your mind and why you react the way you do, you and your partner can get to work on solving your problems.

You are going to have to give a few things up to save your marriage. If you and your partner spend a lot of time arguing, one of the things that is going to have to go is trying to win an argument. Really, there is no winner in a fight because every fight that is not resolved results in a deeper divide between you. As a couple, you will need to learn to address these situations as a challenge to solve, not a battle to win.

Remember, a marriage is a partnership. You have to work with your spouse to develop a relationship that functions and is healthy and positive for both persons. Do not be afraid to talk to a professional if you feel the need to. Marriage counselors and others are trained in teaching people how to talk to each other and work out their differences. If you are willing to put forth the effort, you can certainly save your marriage.
About the Author
Alan Largo is the creator and administrator of Save Any Marriage and strives to assist others identify with their adverse marital situation through informative reviews. You're invited to visit Save Any Marriage to read his most recent article review.
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