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Are You Suitable For Marriage Counselling

Jun 8, 2008
There are many reasons that couples decide to go for marriage counselling and in most cases the benefits would have been far greater and quicker if they had recognised the symptoms earlier and sought help rather than stick their heads in the sand, putting it down to work pressures or the strain of a young family.

Even so, the amount of couples deciding to opt for marriage has increased and many of these will need some help along the way. This is because we tend to lose sight of each other's needs when everyday pressures are piled on. You may start off with good intentions, being open with discussion and outwardly showing affection but over time this gets crowded out for work commitments or any number of other sources of strife.

The affection and consideration slacks off and we put this down to the ending of the honeymoon period. Next thing we know, all our partners habits that started off as endearing become the most annoying things on the planet and are then at the root of all the digging remarks made to one another. Next comes the bickering.
This is sometimes attributed to tiredness from lack of sleep while we have young children but more often due to a building resentment that one or both of the partners are not pulling their weight either around the home or with the children.

Bickering develops into full blown rows, separate bedrooms and before we know it we're discussing divorce. Often, this looks like the only way out of a miserable situation and it is difficult to see the wood for the trees. But it is essential to look at the bigger picture, especially if there are children involved as the knock on effect to them, and us, is immense.

Marriage counselling is an invaluable tool that more people would do well to take up before things got out of hand. Of course, that initial excitement and shine will give way to the more mundane things of life but with effort the marriage can be brought back to near the original state and make it a partnership worth keeping. It is essential not to lose sight of the fact that you are a couple as well as parents and wage earners and to keep the excitement alive you need to keep respect for each other.

Marriage counselling is designed to get to the bottom of the disputes that have become seemingly insurmountable. They are trained to iron out the simpler things, to offer a different perspective where we can only see our own and to encourage a freer, more open communication that will assist us in working things out and getting back to the harmony we once knew.

Of course, marriage counselling is not suitable for everyone. Some people have trouble talking things through and when I went through my marriage break up I would personally have rather run my husband over than work things out and put up with him for another moment of my life. But that's just me. If you can, with the assistance of marriage counselling, get back the love and trust, the respect and support that you had in the first place, then it will be beneficial for you, your family and your finances. Of course, if you never had those things in the first place you were daft for getting married so keep your money in your pocket instead of lining those of the marriage counsellor and go your separate ways.
About the Author
Relationship expert Catherine Harvey looks at the role of marriage counselling in saving a relationship.
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